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© 2015 Life Resources

Then the Lord God said, "It is not good that the man should be alone; I will make him a helper fit for him."
Genesis 2:18, NLTSE

Table of Contents

1. BEFORE YOU BEGIN

2. 1. WHERE DID MARRIAGE COME FROM? The Biblical Foundation for Marriage

3. This study looks at the very first words in the Bible about marriage. It is recommended that you do this study first.

4. 2. GOD'S DESIGN FOR A HAPPY HOME

5. The Apostle Paul gave specific instructions on building a Christian marriage. For 2,000 years, wise husbands and wives have paid close attention to his words.

6. 3. MAKING JESUS LORD OF YOUR HOME

7. When the husband and wife both make Jesus Lord of their lives, they trust Him to guide them in the use of their money, their time, their ca- reers and all aspects of their lives. Is Jesus Lord of your home?

8. 4. INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE: GOD'S GOOD PLAN

9. Sexual intimacy is God's beautiful gift to a husband and wife. How can they keep it special for a lifetime?

10. 5. VALUE AND PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE

11. How important is your marriage to you? How can you protect your marriage from adultery, divorce, and sexual sins of the mind.

12. 6. FORGIVENESS: THE KEY TO A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE

13. A marriage may start with romance, but forgiveness keeps a couple's love strong year after year. Learning to forgive and to ask forgiveness is not easy, but these are acts of love that every couple needs to learn.

14. 7. CHOOSING TO LOVE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT: Resolving Conflict in Marriage

15. Beyond learning to forgive, couples need to learn to daily show un- conditional love to each other. When a spouse is hurt or when the couple strongly disagrees, how can they lovingly share their frustra- tions with each other and listen with open hearts?

16. 8. GROWING IN GOD TOGETHER

17. We can easily make our relationship with God a private matter. A higher joy comes to a family when they learn to worship and serve God together. This study will give some helpful tips to bring God's love to the center of your home each day.

18. IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRANSLATE THIS BOOK

Before you begin...

If you are studying this course, it means that you are either married or you will be married soon. Congratulations! You are joining with the vast majority of humankind in all cultures around the world throughout all of time, in a custom that is as old as mankind. But what is it that you have joined? Where did the idea of marriage come from? Does it exist just to make life easier and more enjoyable for me, or is there a higher purpose?

Most men and women enter into marriage with great hope for what the future will hold for them. But the reality today is that many marriages fail. Other marriages stay together, but there is little joy or true love between the husband and wife. Why? What has happened to their dreams? Is it even possible to have a relationship that is deep and warm and full of life, that will last a lifetime?

The answer is...YES!! For those who seek to follow God's plan as found in the Bible, there is great hope for a richly rewarding marriage. This course is designed to help you discover the answers to the above questions and enter in to all of God's wonderful purposes for your marriage.

To get the full benefit of each session, here are a few suggestions:

- If possible, don't do this course as one couple alone. Find a believing couple, preferably who have been married for several years, who can walk through the studies with you as mentors. Or you may want to go through the course with a small group of couples, with one older couple serving as leaders. Also, it's very important that both husband and wife (or future husband and wife) participate together. Every study has material that is relevant to both men and women.

- Do the journal assignments included with each session. This is very important. Every person (not just every couple) needs to have some sort of journal or notebook they can write notes and assignments in. This does not need to be expensive, but should be a special book just for this course that you can keep for a long time. After each session, there is something for you to work on in the days that follow before the next session. You will miss out on much of what this course has to offer if you do not do these! It will take time to do them, but it will be worth the investment. Over the years, you will want to look back at things you have written, and you may also want to add new thoughts that you learn over time.

- Bring your journal and a Bible (book or electronic) to every session. In every session, you will be looking into the Word of God. It's best for every person to have a Bible of their own so they can look carefully at what is being discussed.. Also, you will frequently be asked to write notes about something in your journal. And at the beginning of each session, you will have a chance to discuss the as- signment that you have worked on since your last study.

MAY GOD BLESS THIS LAND WITH A NEW
GENERATION OF GODLY FAMILIES RAISING GODLY
CHILDREN FOR HIS GLORY!

1. WHERE DID MARRIAGE COME FROM?

The Biblical Foundation for Marriage

Opening Discussion:

Think about the word "marriage." What does it mean to you? What makes marriage different from every other relationship?

Introduction:

Marriage in some form is a part of every society on earth. But what is marriage? Where did it come from? This study will look at how the Bible answers these questions.

In Genesis 1 we read how God created the heavens and the earth, the sun, moon, and stars, and the plants and animals. Then in verse 26 we read about the crown of his creation.

Read Genesis 1:26-31.

1.  Read verse 27 again. What two things do you notice in this verse about the creation of mankind?

What do you think it means that we are created in the image of God?

2.  Look at verse 31. How did God feel about all that He had made?

Genesis 2 gives us more detail about the creation of the first man and woman.

Read Genesis 2:7 and 15-25.

3.  Read verse 7 again. What is different about how God creates man and how He creates all of the other animals? (See also Genesis 1:20 & 24)

4.  In Genesis 2:18, what does God say is not good? What does God say He will do?

5.  Read again verses 21-22. Describe how God creates the helper for the man.

The Woman as a Helper

In verse 18, God says that He will make a "helper fit for" the man. Again in verse 20, it says that among the animals there was no "helper fit for him." What is meant by the word "helper"? In the Hebrew (the original language of the Old Testament) the word that is used means a person who complements the one who is helped. That is, they fill in or provide for those areas that are lacking in the other person. The helper is not inferior to the one being helped. They are equal in value, but they are different. Each one supplies something that the other one lacks.

It also says that the helper was "fit for" or "suitable for" the man. She was just what he needed! No animal could fill the place that she was uniquely created for. If every husband and wife understood these truths, how do you think it would change the atmosphere in the home?

6.  Read again verse 23. How does the man describe the woman in this verse? Do you think he feels that she is a suitable helper for him? Explain your answer.

(Note: the Hebrew word for woman (ishah) is closely related to the Hebrew word for man (ish). Therefore, in Hebrew the words themselves show the relationship between the man and the woman.)

7.  We now come to the very first description of marriage in the Bible. Read verse 24. How is marriage described? What three things constitute marriage according to this verse?

8.  Obviously, Adam had no mother and father to leave, nevertheless, this would be the pattern for every generation that would follow. What do you think it means for a man to leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife? Why is this important?

9.  Do you think it's possible for the husband to physically leave his parents, that is, to move to a different house, but still be living under their authority? How?

Why is it important for the husband to fully become the head of his own family?

God's Design for a New Family Unit

From the very beginning, we see that it was God's plan that when a man and a woman join together as husband and wife, they form a new family unit, separate from the home they grew up in. Nothing is said about the wife leaving her parents, probably because in those days it would have been assumed that she would leave to join her husband. The husband, however, would often continue to live on the land belonging to his family. Therefore, he may be living very close to them physically. However, he was not to remain un- der their authority. When he married, he was to become the head of the new household. He would be responsible for their provision, protection, and instruction, teaching them to follow the Lord and his ways. Although the husband could still learn much from the wisdom and experience of his parents, he and his wife would now be a separate unit who must make their own decisions and be responsible for their own children. Discuss how this mindset could help strengthen families in your country.

If you are a couple who must live with parents for a time, what can you do to establish yourselves as a separate family, even while living in your parent's home?

10.  Read verse 24 again. The original word in the Hebrew that refers to the man being joined to his wife means that he shall "hold fast to" or "follow hard (close) after" her. What does this say to you about the permanence of marriage?

11.  In some societies today, some people are very confused about what marriage is. Some say that a man can marry another man or a woman can marry another woman. Some say that a man can marry more than one woman. What do you see from these verses in Genesis as God's design for marriage?

12.  Look back at Genesis 1:28. What is the first command that God gives to mankind? What does God expect to be the fruit of marriage?

You will notice that the first part of this verse says that God blessed the first man and woman. An important part of that blessing was, "...be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth..." In this verse, we see another very important reason why God created marriage. How does God's design of a mother and a father committed to each other for life create a stable environment for our children?

The Marriage Celebration

In different societies around the world, the marriage celebration looks very different. Some cultures have elaborate rituals and feasts that last several days. Some societies have no celebration at all. In one primitive culture, the man simply goes to sleep in the woman's hammock, and they are expected to be faithful to each other for life. Look at Genesis 24:67. How did Isaac marry Rebekah, the wife his father's servant had found for him?

In both of these situations above, society recognized the couple as belonging only to each other, even though there was no ceremony or government document. This recognition is an important part of what it means to marry. Today, many governments require a document to acknowledge the marriage. This is important, especially for the protection of the children.

Over the centuries since Christ, believers have tried to find ways for the wedding ceremony to reflect the teachings of God's Word: that marriage is from God; that it is sacred; that it should last until the death of a spouse; and that it is a picture of our relationship to Christ. Today, in cultures where there are strong Christian roots, it is traditional for the bride and groom to exchange vows, that is, to make promises to each other in front of family and friends that they will love and care for each other for life. Since it is God who joins the man and woman together as husband and wife, why do you think it might be important to make a public statement of your commitment to each other? Take a few minutes to discuss how this might strengthen your marriage. (For an example of marriage vows, see Appendix A.)

Prayer: Think about the wonderful gift of marriage that God has given to mankind. Pray now, thanking God for your fiance/spouse. Pray for God's grace to establish a life-long marriage that is full of Christ-like love for each other.

Before the next session...

...set aside some time to re-read and meditate on the verses you have studied today. Ask God for deeper insight into what marriage is.

- Write down in a journal or notebook what you have learned about marriage from these scriptures.

- Write down what you want your marriage to be like 20, 30, or 50 years from now.

Consider this quote: "Humans are never more like the covenant-keeping God than when they pledge themselves in covenant to one another." (from The Reformation Study Bible, Genesis 2:24.)

- Write in your journal what you think this means.

Take time also to pray, asking God to prepare you to make this serious lifelong commitment—or if you are already married, ask Him to help you live out that commitment every day.

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

2. GOD'S DESIGN FOR A HAPPY HOME

"...let each one of you love his wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." Eph. 5:33

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week about the verses you studied in Session 1, your desires for your marriage, and about the quote. (Try to keep this part to 5 minutes so you have time for the rest of the study.)

Opening Discussion:

In his letter to the Philippians, Paul gives some instructions to the believers about the kind of attitude they should have toward one another. Read Philippians 2:1-4. Take a few minutes to discuss the exhortations Paul gives to followers of Jesus in these verses.

How do you think the things found in these verses might be a good foundation for a happy home?

Let's look now at Paul's instructions to wives and husbands.

Read Ephesians 5:21-33.

1.  Verse 21 tells us that everyone is to submit to each other out of reverence for Christ. Beginning with verse 22, Paul tells specifically what that means for husbands and wives so that there is harmony and happiness in the home.

2.  Read verse 23-24. According to v. 23, why is she to have this attitude? What does Paul compare this husband/wife relationship to?

(Note: The word "church" here refers to all believers everywhere and in all generations. They are also referred to in these verses as Christ's body.)

In verse 24, how does Paul describe this submission?

A question for wives: How do you think this kind of submission is possible?

3.  Read verses 25-27 again. What is to be the husband's attitude toward his wife? What does Paul compare this to?

According to these verses, how did Christ show His love for the church?

What was Christ's purpose for the church in what He did? (verses 26-27)

4.  Now read verses 28-30. In verse 28, what else does Paul say about how a husband should love his wife?

What do you think Paul means when he says, "He who loves his wife loves himself"?

In verse 25 and verses 29-30, Paul tells us how Christ has shown his love for us and how He continually shows that love in the way He nurtures and cares for us, his bride. And now Christ is calling husbands to have that same love for their wives.

A question for husbands: How do you feel when you think about this great responsibility God has given to you? What are some practical things you can begin to do now to show this sacrificial love for your wife in everyday life?

5.  Read again verses 31-33. In verse 31 Paul quotes from Genesis 2:24, which we read in the last session. God had a plan from the very beginning—before sin entered the world—that marriage would carry a deep meaning.

In verse 32, what is the profound mystery that Paul is referring to? How does husband and wife becoming one give a picture of the relationship of us (the Church), with Christ?

Since this is true, what does it say about the importance of protecting the marriage relationship?

6.  In verse 33, how does Paul sum up his instructions to husbands and wives?

Why do you think Paul gives different instructions to husbands than to wives?

Love and Respect in the Marriage

Modern research has shown that although both husband and wife desire to be both respected and loved, their deepest needs are different. For the husband, it is of greater importance to feel that he is respected. If he is not respected by the one person who is closest to him, he will feel a deep sense of shame and unworthiness. This is especially true if his wife dishonors him in front of other people, but it is also true for in the home. For the wife, it is more important to feel loved. If she does not feel loved by her own husband, she will feel a deep sense of shame and unworthiness. If she knows that she is loved, this will help her to feel secure and confident in who she is.

7.  Now consider and discuss this: If the wife submits to her husband in the same way that the church submits to Christ, how will this encourage her husband to love her?

If the husband loves his wife in the same way that Christ loves the church, how will this help her to submit to him? How could these two things work together to create a happy and orderly home?

8.  Think about your desires for your own home. What do you want to see changed in you in order for those desires to be fulfilled? As a woman, are you sometimes controlling and rebellious? As a man, are you sometimes harsh and demanding?

Making the Home a Refuge

A home that follows God's design will be a beautiful picture of what God's kingdom is like. Of course no one can do this perfectly! Therefore it's important that we also learn to humble ourselves and ask forgiveness when we have failed, and to be quick to forgive each other. Then the home will be a refuge of peace for us and the children that God gives. (This will be discussed in greater detail in Study 6.)

Prayer: Take some time now to pray and ask God to change you by his grace so that you can live according to his beautiful design. In your heart, commit to learn his ways. Then you will have peace and harmony in your home, even when difficult times come.

Before the next session...

... take some time to read again the verses you have just studied and think about them.

- Write down in your journal what you have learned from these verses about your role as a husband or wife.

- Write down also the things that you want to see changed in you to be the husband or wife that is pleasing to God.

Take time to pray about these things.

If you have time, it would be good to also read and think about 1 Peter 3:1-7.

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

3. MAKING JESUS LORD OF YOUR HOME

"...as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord." Joshua 24:15

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal about what you studied in Session 2. (5 minutes)

Opening Discussion:

In Joshua 24, Joshua is about to lead the nation of Israel to go in and take possession of the land God has promised them. In verse 15 he gives them a challenge: if they don't want to serve the living God, then they should choose what god they do want to serve. However, Joshua has already made his choice, and he makes this declaration, "But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord!"

Take a few minutes to discuss briefly what you think it would mean to serve the Lord together as a family.

Read Luke 6:46-49.

1.  What question does Jesus ask in verse 46?

Do you see any conflict in calling someone "Lord" (or "Master") and then not obeying what they say? Explain your answer.

2.  Read verse 47 again. Jesus talks about people who do three things. What are those three things?

According to verse 48, to what does Jesus compare the person who does these things? Describe how this man builds his house and what happens to it.

3.  Now read verse 49. What is the difference between the person (not the house) in this verse and the person in verse 47?

Describe this person's house and what happens to it.

4.  Think about these two houses. As you are starting a new family, which house do you want to establish? According to verses 46-47, how can you establish that kind of a house?

Let's look now at several specific areas that are important to your life as a couple. You may have thought about these things as individuals, but now discuss what it will mean for you as a family to make Jesus Lord over each of these areas.

MONEY

5.  Read the following verses.

"Who has first given to me, that I should repay him? Whatever is under the whole heaven is mine." (God speaking to Job. Job 41:11)

Who has ever given to God, that God should repay them? For from him and through him and for him are all things. To him be the glory forever! Amen. (Romans 11:35-36)

Have you ever stopped to think that everything that you have has come from God and rightfully belongs to Him?

How do you think knowing this should affect how you use your money and other possessions?

6.  Read the following three scripture passages about money.

Honor the LORD with your wealth, with the firstfruits of all your crops; then your barns will be filled to overflowing, and your vats will brim over with new wine. (Prov. 3:9-10)

No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. (Matt. 6:24)

So do not worry, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. (Matt. 6:31-33)

Now read the verses above again one at a time. After each one, tell why—according to those verses—you as a couple should make Jesus the Lord of your money.

Decisions about Money

Many of the arguments that married couples have are about money. Whether money is scarce or abundant in the home, everyone must make decisions about what they will use their money for. Sometimes husbands and wives do not agree on those decisions. Here are some important questions to think about:

- Are both of you willing to make Jesus the Lord of your money?

- Do you really believe that God cares about your needs and that He will provide for your family?

- If you pray together about how to use all that God gives you, how can this protect you from arguments over money?

DECISION-MAKING

7.  Read the passages below.

Trust in the LORD with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6)

Oh, the depth of the riches of the wisdom and knowledge of God! How unsearchable his judgments, and his paths beyond tracing out! Who has known the mind of the Lord? Or who has been his counselor? (Romans 11:33-34)

According to these verses, why do you think it is wise for you as a couple to look to God first when you face important decisions?

Now read the verse below from Luke.

"...saying, 'Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me. Nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.'" (Jesus, praying to His Father on the night of His betrayal, the night before his crucifixion. Luke 22:42)

How does Jesus' prayer inspire you to choose God's will over your own, in spite of the cost?

CAREER

8.  Tell how the following passages encourage you to commit your decisions about a career to God, giving yourselves to Him for His purposes.

Come now, you who say, 'Today or tomorrow we will go into such and such a town and spend a year there and trade and make a profit'— yet you do not know what tomorrow will bring. What is your life? For you are a mist that appears for a little time and then vanishes. Instead you ought to say, 'If the Lord wills, we will live and do this or that.' (James 4:13-15)

Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will. (Romans 12:1-2)

9.  After discussing the above verses, read the verses below.

Who then is the faithful and wise servant, whom his master has set over his household, to give them their food at the proper time? Blessed is that servant whom his master will find so doing when he comes. (Jesus, speaking of His return at the end of the age. Matt 24:45-46)

What tasks has God given to you as a family? How do the verses above encourage you to be busy about the work of the kingdom, using your time wisely?

What does it mean to be faithful and wise servants?

All of us as believers are called to be fulltime servants of God. This means we will serve God by serving our family or others in the home; we will serve Him as we work in the workplace; we will also serve Him in various other settings as God leads us, sharing the Word of God through our words and actions. We should not compare ourselves to others or try to copy the work that God has called them to. Every couple must determine what God has for them to do and be obedient to that call.

And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. (Colossians 3:17)

10.  Discuss together as a couple what you will do to seek first God's kingdom and His righteousness.

In which of these areas that we have discussed do you find it difficult to trust God and make Him Lord?

Prayer: Have you ever as a couple offered yourselves to God as living sacrifices, to do his will—whatever it may be? Read Romans 12:1-2 again. Paul says in these verses that it is by offering ourselves to God that we truly worship Him. Take some time to pray about this now.

Before the next session...

... take time alone to read again and think about each of the verses you have just studied. Where do you need God to help you grow as an individual in putting Him first?

- Write down in your journal your thoughts and your desires for growth.

Talk about how you will work together as a couple to put God first in each of the areas we discussed today. Be sure to include a discussion of the questions in the box above about money.

- Write down in your journal specific ways that you will make Jesus Lord in each of these areas.

Take time to pray together and ask God to show you any specific ways He has for your family to serve Him.

- Write down in your journal anything that God shows you in your times of prayer together.

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

4. INTIMACY IN MARRIAGE: GOD'S GOOD PLAN

(Note: Most people will find it easier to participate in this study if the men and women go through it separately—the groom-to-be with a mature husband, and the bride-to-be with a mature wife, or separate small groups of women and men.)

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week from your study in Session 3 about making Jesus the Lord of your home.

Opening Discussion:

Every one loves a story where a man and woman fall in love, marry and are happy throughout their entire lives. Sadly, for many couples, this is not their story. They may stay together, but joy and intimacy die. What do you think a husband and wife can do to stay in love with each other for life?

Let's look at what the Bible has to say about intimacy in marriage.

Read Genesis 1:27-28.

1.  What two things does verse 27 say about how God created mankind?

Have you ever thought about why God created mankind male and female? Why didn't He make us like amoebas (one-celled creatures) that have no sex but just split in two to multiply? Discuss your thoughts.

2.  What was the first command given to mankind? (verse 28)

Read Genesis 2:24-25.

3.  Verse 24 describes for us the essence of marriage. What 3 things does it involve?

The third part of this verse says, "...they shall become one flesh." This is a description of the sexual relationship that husband and wife have within marriage. Think about this description. What does becoming "one flesh" say to you about the degree of closeness, the intimacy, that God desires to occur between husband and wife?

4.  Read verse 25 again. At this time, the first man and woman had not yet sinned, and therefore, they felt no shame. When a man and woman marry, do you think that they, like Adam and Eve in this verse, receive once again this gift of having no shame before each other? Explain your answer.

Read Genesis 1:31.

5.  From the verses that we have read so far, it is clear that the idea of sexual intimacy originated with God: He made them male and female; the two shall become one flesh; and out of this, they will give birth to children.

In verse 31, how does it say God felt about everything He had made? How do you think God feels about sex?

Some people think that all sex is dirty, or impure. If sex is a gift given by God to married couples, do you think it is pleasing to Him for them to think that way?

Read Genesis 4:1.

6.  How do Eve's words in this verse show her understanding that as humans they were working in partnership with God in procreation?

Now let's turn to the New Testament and read what the Apostle Paul had to say to the people of Corinth about the sexual relationship in marriage.

Read 1 Corinthians 7:1-5.

7.  Read verse 1 again. You will notice that in part of this verse, Paul is quoting from a letter that the Corinthians had written to him. It seems they thought that since there was so much immorality, people who avoided sexual relations completely were more holy than those who did not. Therefore, they thought that maybe even within marriage, sexual relations should be avoided. How does Paul respond to this in verses 2-4?

8.  Read again verses 3-4. What words does Paul use in verse 3 to describe the husband and wife's responsibility to each other?

What does he say, even about their authority over their own bodies? (verse 4)

9.  Read verse 4 again. Paul says the husband and wife have a responsibility to serve each other sexually. Therefore, is it right for either of them to withhold sex to hurt the other person? Is it right to use sex as a tool to manipulate their spouse and get what they want? Explain your answer.

10.  In session 2 we read from another of Paul's letters about what the wife's attitude should be toward her husband and what the husband's attitude should be toward his wife. Read the verses below.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (Ephesians 5:22)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (Eph. 5:25)

Now read 1 Corinthians 7:2-4 again, and think about these verses together with the verses from Ephesians. Discuss the boxes below.

A note especially for women: If a wife respects her husband and submits to him from her heart, will she refuse to make herself available to him sexually?

It is often true that men have a greater desire and need for sex than women do, especially as they get older. A loving wife will seek to please her husband, even when she does not share that desire. Here is something important for women to remember: If your husband's sexual needs are being satisfied at home, he will be much less likely to be tempted to look for fulfillment elsewhere.

A note especially for men: Will a husband who loves his wife as Christ loves the church ever force himself on her? How will he treat her sexually, especially during those times when she is pregnant or not feeling well?

1 Peter 3:7 says, "Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel..." Gentleness and understanding are important in helping your wife to feel deeply loved. As Peter says, she is a "weaker vessel," therefore, treat her with gentleness. Sexual intercourse may be painful for her at times, especially at the beginning. Listen to her and consider her feelings. Your wife will be much more excited about offering herself to you if the experience is enjoyable for her as well as for you.

Both husband and wife have a wonderful opportunity to show unselfish love to each other as they each consider how to please their partner. How will this kind of mutual caring for each other help to keep love alive in their marriage?

11.  Read 1 Corinthians 7:5 again. What advice does Paul give to them in this verse?

Why does Paul say they should make their agreement to abstain from sexual intimacy only for a short period of time?

Sometimes couples will decide to completely stop having sexual intimacy in their marriage because they're afraid of getting pregnant. According to these verses, do you think that's a good idea? Explain your thoughts.

God's Beautiful Purposes for Sexual Intimacy in Marriage

The sexual union was given as a gift to mankind so that within the protected bond of marriage, within the security of a lifelong commitment, husband and wife can know the deepest level of intimacy possible here on earth. In a limited way, it's a picture of the intimacy between the Father, Son and Holy Spirit, and also a picture of the intimacy between Christ and the Church, which is described as His Bride. Of course, those are not physical relationships; they are spiritual, but still very real. And it is out of this deepest level of intimacy that new life is created. God gives to us the indescribable privilege of participating in the creation of that which is most precious in all the world—a new living human being! And think of this: when the sperm of the father joins together with the egg of the mother, all of the genetic possibilities that reside in the father's DNA are now combined with all of the possibilities in the mother's DNA. Therefore, every baby born is a unique individual, unlike any other person who has ever lived. How wise our God is in His plan for us!

Because Satan understands the potential in sex for both intimacy and procreation, he works very hard to distort and destroy it. The same thing that has such power for life and creativity also has great potential for our destruction. That's why we are exhorted in Proverbs 4:23, "Keep your heart with all vigilance, for from it flow the springs of life." Pray often that God would keep you alert to Satan's schemes and make you strong in His strength to stand against them. And if you should find yourself struggling with sexual temptation, don't hesitate to seek out a mature brother or sister who can stand with you in the battle.

Prayer: Take a few minutes now to pray and thank God for the gift of sexual intimacy in marriage. Ask Him to help you understand what it means from His perspective and to enjoy it to the fullest.

Before the next session...

...take time to read all of the Song of Solomon. (If you are not already married, you should read this individually, rather than together.) In this book we see another purpose for the gift of sex—our pleasure! Notice how the bride and groom delight in physical love and how free they are in expressing it in words. Don't you think that God takes delight in married couples who enjoy to the fullest His gift to them of sexual union?

- Write down in your journal what impresses you most from the Song of Solomon.

- Write down in your journal your thoughts about God's purposes in giving us this gift.

- Write down also anything else you have learned from this lesson.

If you have thought of sex as dirty in the past, or if you have fears about it, take time to pray regularly, asking God to change your thinking so you see it as He does—a beautiful expression of the deepest level of intimacy!

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

5. VALUE AND PROTECT YOUR MARRIAGE

"...what God has joined together, let no one separate." Matt. 19:6

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week about what you studied in Session 4. Also, share anything you have written about the Song of Solomon that you are comfortable with sharing.

Opening Discussion:

One of the commands that God gave Moses was "Do not commit adul- tery." How does adultery hurt families, children, and society in general?

Read Matthew 19:1-12.

1.  The Pharisees were experts in the law that Moses gave to the Jewish people, but Jesus often accused them of hypocrisy. Here it says that they wanted to test Jesus. In other words, they wanted to trap Him into giving a wrong answer. What did they ask him? (verse 3)

2.  You will remember that in Session 1 we looked at where marriage originated. In Session 4 we talked about the essence of marriage. Whose idea was it in the beginning to have two sexes? (Genesis 1:27) Where did the idea of marriage come from? (Genesis 2:24)

3.  Read Matthew 19:4-6 again. In these verses Jesus quotes from the passages in Genesis shown above. He is now going to make it more clear that marriage is holy, valuable, and worth protecting.

When a couple is married, who does Jesus say has joined them together? (veres 6)

4.  Why do you think marriage is often referred to as a covenant? What do you think it means to be bound together by a covenant?

5.  Look at Ephesians 5:31-32. What do you remember from Session 2 that we said was the "profound mystery" that Paul is speaking about?

6.  In Matthew 19:6, what does Jesus mean when He says, "...let no man separate"? What does this say about divorce?

Take a few minutes to discuss why divorce is so serious in light of Jesus' words in these verses.

Why is there so much pain for husband, wife, and children when a couple divorces? (Discuss this question, and then read the box below.)

The Pain of Divorce

Many people today think of divorce as an easy way to solve their problems if they are unhappy with their spouse. But what does God say? When two people marry, God's Word says they become "one flesh." In a mysterious, spiritual way, God joins them together. Although they are still two distinct individuals, in a very real sense they are now one unit. Just as you could not tear off one part of your body without leaving painful nerves exposed and experiencing great loss, you cannot separate a couple who has become one flesh without much pain and loss. Neither can you go against what God has done without suffering serious consequences.

7.  The Pharisees knew that Jesus was saying that divorce was wrong. So they asked him another question. Read verse 7 again. What did they ask Jesus?

8.  According to Jesus, why did Moses allow divorce? (verse 8) Is a hard heart pleasing to God? From verses 4-6 and verse 8, what is God's desire for those who are married?

9.  Read verse 9 again. What does Jesus say is the one reason a man may divorce his wife? If he divorces her for any other reason and then marries another, what is he guilty of?

Jesus is speaking specifically to men here, but do you think this principle would also be true for women?

Why do you think sexual immorality would be a reason for divorce to be allowed? Take a minute to think about how adultery breaks the covenant of marriage.

What does this say to you about the importance of faithfulness in marriage?

Marriages can be healed.

Although Jesus said divorce was allowed if one partner had committed adultery, this does not mean that couples must always divorce if that should happen. Because of Jesus' death on the cross, God offers full forgiveness to all who truly repent and turn to Him. 1 John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness." There have been many instances where husbands or wives have repented of their sin and their spouses have forgiven them. Although it has been a painful process that has taken time, God has healed their marriages. Through these difficulties, they have grown in their walk with God in spite of falling into sin. (Study 6 will discuss more about forgiveness.)

FAITHFULNESS IN MARRIAGE

10.  Read each of the following verses and discuss what they have to say about faithfulness in marriage.

(Note: Sexual immorality refers to any sexual activity outside of mar- riage; this includes adultery.)

You shall not commit adultery. (This is one of the Ten Commandments God gave to Moses. Exodus 20:14)

Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body. (1Corinthians 6:18-20)

"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor, not in the passion of lust like the Gentiles who do not know God; that no one transgress and wrong his brother in this matter, because the Lord is an avenger in all these things, as we told you beforehand and solemnly warned you. For God has not called us for impurity, but in holiness. Therefore whoever disregards this, disregards not man but God, who gives his Holy Spirit to you." (1 Thessalonians 4:3-8)

According to the verses above, why is it so important that husband and wife remain faithful only to each other for their entire life?

FAITHFULNESS IN THE MIND

11.  Jesus taught his followers that being faithful sexually is not just a matter of not doing the physical act. Unfaithfulness begins in the mind and heart. Read the following verses.

But among you there must not be even a hint of sexual immorality, or of any kind of impurity, or of greed, because these are improper for God's holy people. (Ephesians 5:3)

You have heard the commandment that says, 'You must not commit adultery.' But I say, anyone who even looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart. (Matthew 5:27-28)

Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things. (Philippians 4:8)

Tell what each of the above verses has to say about keeping your heart and mind pure.

12.  What do you think these verses have to say about looking at pornography or sensuality in movies and television?

13.  Satan is constantly trying to destroy marriages. Whether you are already married, or planning to be married soon, do you pray both together and separately for your marriage to be strong and protected from his evil strategies?

In 1 Peter 5:8-9, the Apostle Peter wrote these words:

Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, because you know that the family of believers throughout the world is undergoing the same kind of sufferings.

How can these verses help you to keep your marriage strong?

Prayer: Pray together now for your marriage. Ask God for His grace to resist the temptation to separate when conflicts arise in the marriage.

Before the next session...

... Read Proverbs 5. This chapter is directed specifically to men, but the principle of faithfulness in marriage certainly applies to women as well.

- Write in your journal several reasons that you see in this chapter why you should be faithful to your spouse.

Take some time to look back over the last 4 studies. Are there things that you've learned that could make your marriage strong against divorce?

- Write these things down in your journal.

Also, take some time to read again this passage from Matthew 19. Think about the seriousness of the commitment that you are making when you marry. When couples divorce, it causes deep pain to both the husband and the wife, and also to the children. Determine now that whatever difficulties you face, you will face them together.

Make a promise in your heart and to your fiance or spouse that with God's help, you will never use the word "divorce" with them as a suggestion of how to solve conflict in your marriage.

- Write your promise down in your journal.

Spend time praying together for your marriage.

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

6. FORGIVENESS:
THE KEY TO A LONG AND HAPPY MARRIAGE

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week about Proverbs 5 and about how you can make your marriage strong. (5 minutes)

Opening Discussion:

How do most people respond when someone offends or wrongs them? What do you think about this?

All of us at various times in our married life will find that we have wronged our spouse. At other times we will be the ones who have been wronged by them. In order for us to grow in our love for each other, we must learn how to ask for forgiveness and also how to forgive. Let's be- gin by looking at what Jesus said about the importance of forgiving.

Read Matthew 18:21-35.

1.  Read again verses 21-22. Do you think Jesus meant that we should keep count each time we forgive someone? What does Jesus mean?

2.  When we keep count of the times we have forgiven someone, what does that reveal about our attitude? Do you think this shows true forgiveness from the heart?

3.  Read verse 24 again. How much did the servant owe the king?

4.  The king wanted to sell the man and his family in order to pay back the debt. What did the servant do? (Look at verse 26.)

Do you think he could ever pay it all back?

How did the king respond to his pleading? (verse 27)

5.  Read again verses 28-30. What did the servant do after he was forgiven and released? (verse 28)

How much did his fellow servant owe him?

6.  Read verses 32-34 again. When the king heard what happened, what did he do? Do you think the king's actions were right? Explain your answer.

7.  Read verse 35. What did Jesus say at the end of this parable? Jesus makes a very serious statement here. In other places of the New Testament, Jesus teaches the same principle. Read Matthew 6:14-15. What do these verses teach us?

8.  The heart of this parable is found in Matthew 18:33. Read it again. If we don't truly believe that God has forgiven our sins, it will be difficult for us to forgive others. Do you believe that God loves you and forgives your sins because of Jesus' death for you?

9.  Look back at this parable again. How is our debt of sin before God like the debt the servant owed the king?

How is the king's forgiveness of the servant's debt like God's forgiveness of us?

What does God expect of us now that we have been forgiven?

Let's look now at how we can apply this teaching on forgiveness in our marriages.

Learning to forgive is something we all must do, but many times forgiving our spouse is very hard because we don't understand what forgiveness is.

What does it mean to forgive?

A.  Forgiveness means that I am releasing the wrong and the hurt into God's hands. When I choose to forgive my spouse, I am not saying that what they did was not wrong, nor am I saying that they did not hurt me. If there is no hurt or wrong, there is no need to forgive. But I will not seek to hurt back. I am trusting God to work in the heart of my spouse.

Read Romans 12:19-21.

19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written, 'It is mine to avenge; I will repay,' says the Lord. 20On the contrary: If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head. Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

1)  Look again at verse 20. How does feeding your "enemy" and giving them something to drink show the fruit of true forgiveness? (Of course, your spouse is not really your "enemy," but sometimes it may feel that way if they have done something that hurt you!)

2)  When you choose to forgive instead of looking for a way to hurt them back or holding resentment inside, how is this like the One who said from the cross, "Father forgive them; they don't know what they do"?

3)  Think about this: Do you really believe that God is big enough to change your spouse's heart and to show them that what they have said or done is wrong? If you think that you can be the one to change your spouse's wrong attitudes or actions, most of the time you will be wrong.

B.  Forgiveness means that I recognize that God has shown great mercy to me and therefore I will be merciful also. Think about what we have just studied in Matthew 18. Here we see a very serious truth. If we want God to forgive all of the great debt of sin that we have committed against Him, what attitude must we have toward others when they sin against us?

“Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy.” (Matthew 5:7)

C.  Forgiveness means that I recognize that God has shown great mercy to me and therefore I will be merciful also. Think about what we have just studied in Matt. 18. Here we see a very serious truth. If we want God to forgive all of the great debt of sin that we have committed against Him, what attitude must we have toward others when they sin against us?

"Blessed are the merciful, for they shall receive mercy." (Matthew 5:7)

C.  Forgiveness means that I am refusing to grow cold and bitter in my heart. Forgiveness is not just something I do for my spouse, it is also for my own sake. If I hold on to bitterness and anger, it will destroy me. They may never ask for my forgiveness. If they don't, then this is only between me and God. I go to God and tell Him that I am choosing to forgive my spouse and ask Him for His grace to help me to release it to Him.

8Finally, all of you, have unity of mind, sympathy, brotherly love, a tender heart, and a humble mind. 9Do not repay evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but on the contrary, bless, for to this you were called, that you may obtain a blessing. (1 Peter 3:8-9)

1)  How do you think the attitude found in these verses will enable you to keep a warm heart toward your spouse, even when they do wrong toward you? Is it possible to bless them and keep anger or hatred in your heart at the same time? Explain your answer.

2)  What does verse 9 say that you will receive if you bless rather than repaying evil for evil?

Prayer: Pray together now and thank God for the complete forgiveness for all of your sin that you have received from Him. Ask Him to give you a tender and humble heart. Ask Him to teach you to bless and forgive each other, even when you have been treated wrongly.

Practical Application of Forgiveness

If it is possible now, read through Asking For and Giving Forgiveness in the next section of this lesson. Or, you may want to go through this as a group in a separate session. If you do not discuss this part together as a group, then husbands and wives or engaged couples should go through this together as a couple before the next session. Do not skip over this section! There is a lot of helpful information to be found here.

This practical section should also be kept somewhere handy so that you can refer to it at any time in the future when you may need to forgive or ask for forgiveness.

Before the next session...

... read the parable in Matthew 18:21-35 again. Then read through the rest of this lesson.

- Write down in your journal several reasons why it is important to forgive your spouse.

Whether or not you have as a group read through the section on Asking For and Giving Forgiveness, take time to read it again as a couple or individually.

- Write down in your journal several of the most imprtant things that you have learned from these steps.

- Write down also what you find most difficult to do, and take some time to pray about it.

Whether you are already married or still engaged, are there things that you need to ask forgiveness for from you fiance or spouse? Will you do it this week?

Are there things that you are holding inside that you need to forgive them for? Will you do that also, even if they don't ask for forgiveness? These two steps will go a long way toward making your marriage strong against the attacks of the enemy!

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

Asking For and Giving Forgiveness

1.  ASKING

The hardest words you will ever say may be these: "I was wrong; please forgive me." But these are also the most valuable words if you want to keep love alive in your marriage. How can you do it? Here are four steps to asking forgiveness of your spouse.

A.  HUMBLE YOURSELF. Be willing to admit to yourself and to God that you were wrong in what you said or did. We all have pride and we must break that pride if we want to follow God's way in our mar- riage. We cannot have a good relationship with our spouse as God wants for us if we will not humble ourselves when we're wrong and admit it— first to ourselves, then to God, and then to our spouse.

B.  CONFESS IT TO GOD AND TO YOUR SPOUSE. When I confess to God, I need to believe that I have received His forgiveness. I John 1:9 says, "If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness." Do you be- lieve this? Before you move on to the next step, make sure that you have trusted in Christ's complete forgiveness for all of your sin. Receive it by faith.

Then, I need to confess my wrong to my spouse, naming my sin. Here are some examples: "Today I spoke angrily; I hurt you with my words." "I lied when I said_________." "I was angry and I hit you. That was wrong." "I did not show respect to you when I said those bad things about you in front of your relatives." Or "I have not been faithful to you." Take full responsibility for your sin! Don't be general... for ex- ample: "I'm a bad husband or wife!" They may agree with you, but this does not help you to find freedom from specific sin. Also, it does not help them to release bitterness and resentment over what you have said or done to them. It is important that you be specific about your sin.

Also, do not at this time talk about their sin. For example, don't say, "I know I was wrong to scream ugly curses at you, but you said the same things to me!" Let God deal with them regarding their wrong. You are only responsible for your words and actions. Often you will find that when you humble yourself and confess your sin, your spouse will be ashamed of what they have done and will ask you for forgiveness in re- turn. Then a beautiful time of healing can take place in your relationship. But, even if they don't confess their fault, allow the Holy Spirit to do His work in His own time. You cannot change another person; you can only change yourself!

A note of caution: If there is secret sin in your life that your spouse does not know about, your confession may come as a big shock to them. Their first reaction may be anger and deep hurt. For example, if you have committed adultery or if you are involved in pornography, this can be very painful news for a husband or wife. Yet it's important that you walk in the light. (See 1 John 1:5-7.) Pray for God's grace for your spouse before you go to them to ask forgiveness for something like this. Be gentle and be patient with them, as discussed in the next step.

C.  ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. The best way to seek forgiveness from your partner is to say these words, "Will you forgive me?" This gives them something specific that they can respond to. Now the choice must be theirs—will they say "Yes," and forgive you, or will they not? It's important to realize that it may be very hard for your spouse to say, "Yes." This is especially true if you have done something very painful to them, such as committing adultery, or if you have asked their forgive- ness many times for the same thing. If they cannot say "Yes" immedi- ately, give them some time and pray that the Lord would help them. In the meantime, you must take seriously the next step.

D.  CHANGE. Don't keep doing the same sin over and over again; "Bring forth fruit in keeping with repentance." (Matthew 3:8) Meditate on Galatians 5:16-25. God is not asking you to grit your teeth and change yourself. Instead, trust deeply in the sacrifice of Jesus to take away all your sin. Pray daily for God to fill you with the Holy Spirit and to pro- duce the fruit of the Spirit in your life. Prove to your spouse that you are serious about changing the bad habits in your life.

With the help of God's Spirit, you can learn to control your anger and your tongue; you can learn to speak the truth; you can learn to be faithful—even in your thoughts; and you can learn to avoid the people and places that tempt you to participate in evil.

"Therefore, do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace." (Romans 6:12-14)

From these verses, what is the active part we must play in getting rid of the evil in our lives?

How does it encourage you to know that sin is not your master and you are not under law, but under grace?

2.  GIVING FORGIVENESS

When your spouse comes to you, confessing their sin and asking for forgiveness, you must realize that they are doing a very difficult thing. How you respond to them is very important. Let's consider some important things to remember in these situations.

A.  LISTEN; GIVE THEM YOUR FULL ATTENTION! Don't just keep on with washing the dishes or whatever you're doing. Show them respect. Stop your work long enough to listen well. Keeping your relationship strong is much more important than any work you have to do. And listen to their heart, not just their words. Their words may not be perfect—they may be nervous, but what are they trying to say?

B.  REMEMBER YOUR NEED FOR MERCY FROM GOD. Resist a prideful attitude that thinks, "You are so bad and I am so good. I would never do what you did!" Think back for a minute to the parable we studied earlier about the servant who was forgiven a debt he could never repay. We are all in the place of that servant. (Read again Matthew 18:32-33.) How can we refuse to show mercy to one another when God has forgiven us completely?

Therefore, as God's chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience. Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity. (Colossians 3:12-14)

C.  SPEAK WORDS OF FORGIVENESS. A good thing to say would be, "Thank you for saying that. I forgive you. I love you."

DON'T SAY,

"Oh, it was nothing!" That's not true. If they are coming to you to ask forgiveness, that means that in their mind, it was something important.

OR

"Let's not talk about it. Just forget it! That's the past; don't worry about it!" They need to talk about it. They need to be released from their guilt by your words of forgiveness, and you need to realize that the past will continue to affect you both until you release it to God through forgiveness.

OR

"May God forgive." Of course we want God to forgive them, but Jesus also teaches US to forgive. If WE have been the one offended, WE must be the one who forgives.

THEY NEED TO HEAR YOUR WORDS OF FORGIVENESS!

D.  ASK YOURSELF AND GOD, "WAS I PARTLY AT FAULT?" For example, if the husband screamed ugly, hurtful words at his wife, maybe it was not just because he has a bad temper. Maybe it was because she kept nagging and criticizing him. This doesn't excuse what he did, but she needs to recognize that she is also wrong when she doesn't show respect to her husband. Perhaps there is something she needs to ask his forgiveness for also. Listen to God with a humble and open heart, ready to hear whatever He wants to say to you.

E.  REMEMBER THAT FORGIVENESS MEANS 100% ACCEPTANCE! It may take time to feel that you can trust your spouse again, but when you forgive your spouse, you must also open your heart to them. Your mercy gives them room to grow. Your relationship needs to be built on grace, not law. Give them grace as Christ has given you grace. (See God's example for us in Psalm 103:8-12 and Romans 15:7)

The LORD is compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in love. He will not always accuse, nor will he harbor his anger forever; he does not treat us as our sins deserve or repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love for those who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. (Psalm 103:8-12)

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God. (Romans 15:7)

F.  PRAY TOGETHER for each other's weaknesses. Pray for your marriage—together! Do you believe God wants to hear and answer these prayers? He certainly does! BELIEVE. Pray often together, "Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."

Remember,, unforgiveness destroys marriages; forgiveness heals marriages—and brings God's love into our lives. It opens our eyes to God's ways.

7. CHOOSING TO LOVE WHEN YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE IT

Resolving Conflict in Marriage

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week about why forgiveness is so important in marriage.

Opening Discussion:

What do you think are some of the characteristics of true love, the kind of love that will last a lifetime?

Introduction:

To many people today, love is primarily a feeling. Songs are sung and poems are written exalting the "fireworks" – those exciting romantic feelings that youth have when they "fall in love." But the truth is that feelings come and go. In every marriage there are times when one or both spouses don't feel warm and loving toward each other. Does this mean that love has departed and you just need to go out and find someone new who will feel romantic toward you?

In 1 Corinthians 13 Paul writes to the believers in Corinth giving them a beautiful picture of what true love is and how it behaves. He speaks of a love that goes much deeper than feelings, a love that requires selflessness. It's the kind of love that God has shown to us in Jesus Christ.

Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7.

1.  Read these 4 verses again. In your journal, make two lists. In the first list write down all of the positive things that it says love is or does. In the second list, write down all of the negative things that love is not or does not do.

Take a minute to look over the list of positive things that you have written. How will it affect your marriage if you grow in each of these ways?

2.  Now take a minute to look over the negative things on the list. Are you guilty of any of these unloving characteristics?

3.  Look back over the verses above. Do you see anything here about love being a romantic feeling?

Do you think it's possible to choose these loving attitudes even when you don't feel like it? Explain your answer.

4.  Now read through verses 4-7 again, but this time, everywhere you see the word "love" read your name instead. For example, "(Mary/John) is patient and kind; (Mary/John) does not envy or boast, etc...." How does this sound to you?

5.  In every marriage there are times when conflicts arise. Undoubtedly there will be times when you become angry with your spouse. Read the verses below.

"In your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold." (Ephesians 4:26-27)

How is it possible to be angry, and yet not sin? Read 1 Corinthians 13:4-7 again. How could applying these verses help you to not sin during times of conflict?

6.  Why do you think it is good to get rid of your anger before going to bed at night? If you don't, how might this give the devil a foothold?

((Note: Sometimes resolving a conflict will take time and you may not: Sometimes resolving a conflict will take time and you may not be able to come to a satisfactory conclusion before night. But even if the problem itself is not solved, you can forgive each other if needed, and you can give the problem to God together in prayer.)

7.  Read the verses below.

14For the whole law is fulfilled in one word: "You shall love your neighbor as yourself." 15But if you bite and devour one another, watch out that you are not consumed by one another. (Galatians 5:14-15)

How do couples sometimes "bite and devour one another"? What happens when they do this? What should they do instead? (verse 14)

Let's look now at the role that the tongue plays in maintaining an atmosphere of love in the home.

8.  Read the verses below.

A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. (Proverbs 15:1)

A gentle tongue is a tree of life, but perverseness in it breaks the spirit. (Proverbs 15:4)

Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruits. (Proverbs 18:21)

There is one whose rash words are like sword thrusts, but the tongue of the wise brings healing. (Proverbs 12:18)

She opens her mouth with wisdom, and the teaching of kindness is on her tongue. (This verse is speaking of the "woman of excellence." Proverbs 31:26)

Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging wife. (Proverbs 21:19)

Read through the verses above again. In your journal make two lists. In the first one, write down all of the positive effects that your words can have on your home. In the second list write down the negative impact they can have.

9.  Now compare the two lists. Discuss what these verses tell us about what we say and how we say it.

10.  Read the verses below.

My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires. (James 1:19-20)

Read these verses again. What three things does James instruct us to do?

If every couple followed this advice when they have disagreements, how do you think this would help them to avoid bitter arguments?

11.  Paul's words to the Ephesians (below) are a good summary of how husband and wife should treat each other.

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you. (Ephesians 4:31-32)

Pray: Pray together now, asking God to help you to grow in practicing true, unselfish love in the way you treat each other—even when you disagree.

Before the next session....

... look back at the lists you wrote earlier from 1 Corinthians 13 of what love is and what it is not. Pray and ask the Lord to show you where you need to grow in these characteristics. Of course we all will continue to grow in all of them throughout our lives, but are there one or two specific areas that God would bring to your attention at this time?

- Write down in your journal how you want God to help you change. Ask Him to help you grow in these areas.

Now look over the lists you made about the tongue. Is there something you need to change in the way you speak?

- Make a note in your journal also, of how you want to change your speech, and take time to pray about it.

Also, read through the two examples that follow in this lesson that show steps you can take to resolve conflict.

- Write in your journal any thoughts or questions you have about these examples and share them in the next session.

(Don't forget to bring your journal and a Bible with you to the next session.)

HOW CAN WE RESOLVE CONFLICT IN MARRIAGE?

If all of us lived out all of the characteristics of love found in 1 Corinthians 13 all of the time, we would never have conflict in our marriages! Unfortunately, no one is able to do that. Therefore, we can know that there will be times in our life together when we hurt each other, and there will be times that we disagree and don't know how to resolve our disagreement. What can we do when those things happen so that we don't destroy each other with hateful words or even physical abuse, or walk out of the marriage? Is there a way to share our feelings without exploding? Is there a way to speak the truth so that our relationship grows? Let's look at two examples of possible conflicts in the home and steps to resolve them.

EXAMPLE #1: How can couples handle hurt or angry feelings toward each other?

John and Mary are husband and wife. Mary tries to be a good wife, but she's not a very good cook and she knows it. Every time they go to his parents' home for dinner, he says things comparing her cooking to his mother's. He makes lots of little jokes and everyone laughs. But Mary is humiliated. She has told God that she forgives him, but then he does it again and she is deeply hurt. The last time he did it, she didn't speak to him for 3 days. As a follower of Jesus, she knows that isn't the right way to handle things, but she just doesn't know what to do with her feelings of hurt and anger. She decided silence was better than blowing up at him.

What should Mary do in this situation that happens frequently in her marriage? Here are the only two ways that Mary knows to deal with her negative feelings toward John when he compares her to his mother.

1.  She can release her anger and explode. She can let him know with loud and hurtful words just how she feels about it. Will this help?

2.  She can say nothing about how hurt she is and just pray about it. Sometimes this seems like the spiritual thing to do, but if he doesn't know how his words affect her, and if she says nothing, how can anything change? Something inside of her—and in their marriage—will begin to die. She will probably find herself beginning to disrespect, and maybe even despise him. Maybe they don't divorce; they continue to live in the same house, but their relationship grows cold.

Is there another road that leads to life and deep friendship in marriage?

YES! In a marriage where both spouses have agreed to learn to listen and grow together, there is great potential for a happy marriage. This third point will help you move away from either explosive anger or silent resentment.

3.  Mary can learn to express her negative feelings in true love— not to try to force John to change, but to help him understand her needs and her feelings. She can speak the truth in love. How does she do this?

Let's look at some steps Mary can take to express the problem and that John can take to respond in a loving way.

1)  FIND A GOOD TIME

Mary should try to find a time when she can talk with him alone. She should tell him that she wants to talk with him about something important to her. Preferably, it should be a time when they are not exhausted and also when the kids are not around. Maybe they can put the kids to bed early one night. This also should not be when she is angry and burning inside at him. She should find a time after she has cooled down.

2)  MARY SPEAKS

Mary should tell John how she feels in an honest and straightforward way, and in a calm voice. (Proverbs 15:1 & Proverbs 15:4) She should not accuse him of deliberately trying to be mean. She doesn't know what is in his heart. She should simply tell him how she is affected when he compares her skills with his mother's and makes jokes about it.

3)  JOHN LISTENS

John should listen humbly to everything she has to say without interrupting she has to say James 1:19-20) He may feel that he has done nothing wrong. Nevertheless, she is hurt. He needs to understand that if he wants to have a good marriage. As he listens, he should be asking God to show him where he has not behaved in a loving way toward his wife.

4)  JOHN SPEAKS AND MARY LISTENS

After she has emptied her heart to him, Mary should give John a chance to speak in return. She must not interrupt him, but must allow him to respond completely to what she has said. He must also be careful to speak calmly and not accusingly. As she listens, it is her turn to ask God where she has been wrong. Maybe she is being too sensitive and needs to learn to laugh at herself.

5)  DISCUSSION, FORGIVENESS, AND CHANGE

After both have had a chance to share their hearts honestly and in love, they can begin to discuss the situation back and forth. Again, they should remember to remain calm and not interrupt and not accuse the other person. (James 1:19) Both should be ready to ask forgiveness where they see they have been wrong, and to forgive each other. They should also be ready to change in any way that they need to.

6)  PRAYER

They should end their time of discussion bypraying together for each other and for their marriage. If they cannot solve the problem at this time, they should take some time to think and pray about it separately, and then come back and talk again in a few days. Both husband and wife should express their love for the other, even if they did not agree. (1 Corinthians 13:7)

Of course, at any time that John is angry or hurt by what Mary does, he should approach her in the same way she approached him above. Both John and Mary need to allow the other one to come and walk through these steps to resolving conflict.

As seen in this example, this process of resolving conflict can be used any time one partner needs to express hurt or frustration to the other. Similar steps can be taken when there are disagreements that they are having difficulty resolving. Let's look at another example.

EXAMPLE #2: How can couples resolve disagreements?

John and Mary have been talking about buying a car. Mary wants them to get the car right away, she's tired of riding the bus with two small children. The problem is that they don't have the money for a car right now. Mary thinks they should borrow the money from some friends or maybe from the bank. John agrees that they need a car, but he wants to wait until they have all of the money. He's concerned that they won't be able to pay it back and doesn't want to have to pay a lot of interest. This is becoming a subject that they argue about frequently. Mary feels that John is not thinking about her needs, and John feels that Mary is not being wise with their limited money. What steps can they take to avoid heated arguments and move forward in reaching an agreement that both of them are satisfied with?

1)  FIND A GOOD TIME.

They should follow step 1 as above and find a quiet, uninterrupted time for discussion.

2)  REMEMBER EPHESIANS 5:22 & 25.

When dealing with something they cannot agree on, both of them need to remember Paul's instructions in Ephesians 5:22 & 25.

Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. (verse 22)

Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, (verse 25)

What should each of their attitudes be as they enter into any discussion? If they both remember these instructions, how will it help them to work through this problem?

3)  TAKE TURNS SPEAKING AND LISTENING.

As in Example #1, each should give the other a chance to express everything in their heart without interrupting. (This will take some discipline on the part of the listener!) They should each speak calmly, without accusing the other. (This will take discipline on the part of the speaker!)

4)  PRAY.

They should pray together about the situation.

- If they have a need for something (a car, for example) they should ask for God's provision.

Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives, and the one who seeks finds, and to the one who knocks it will be opened. Or which one of you, if his son asks him for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a serpent? If you then, who are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:7-11)

- If they have a decision that they can't agree on, they should ask God for wisdom.

"If any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask God, who gives generously to all without reproach, and it will be given him." (James 1:5)

In this situation, they have a physical need (a car) and a need for wisdom (should they borrow the money or should they wait?) In their prayers together, they should ask God for both. God could supernaturally provide a car for them. But He may also have valuable lessons He wants them to learn in being patient, waiting, and trusting.

Remember that God has said that the husband is the head of the family. (Ephesians 5:23) Therefore, if Mary is going to obey God's Word, she must submit to her husband and allow him to make the final decision. And she must trust God to work for her good through her husband, even if she disagrees with him. If she truly feels that he is not making a wise decision, she should take it to God in prayer and ask God to speak to her husband. Nagging is not an option that is given to wives in God's Word!

On John's part, if he is going to show Christ's love to Mary, he will listen to her and consider her needs in making a decision. And he will pray diligently for God's wisdom and provision for his family because he carries the responsibility for their welfare.

If both husband and wife seek to follow God's way, and if they pray together about everything that concerns them, conflicts that come will be resolved, and there will peace and order in the family.

Remember: It is not easy to follow this process! Two key ingredients are HUMILITY and RESPECTFUL LISTENING to each other and to God. If you listen humbly to your spouse, you may find that the Lord is speaking to you through them. It is a beautiful thing to discover that the Lord wants to change you through the helpful words of your spouse.

In this atmosphere of respectful discussion, love and trust grow deep. As children join the family, they will learn also from your example. Though you may have many trials and problems outside the home, inside the walls of your home it will be safe and happy. As husband and wife, you will become each other's best friends, and God will be honored through your lives.

8. GROWING IN GOD TOGETHER

Before you begin this session:

Take a few minutes to discuss what you have written in your journal this past week about how you want to grow in Christ-like love. Also share any thoughts you have about how to resolve conflict. (5 minutes)

Opening Discussion:

Think of one or two couples who you think have a good marriage. What do you think makes their marriages good? What things that you see in their marriages would you like to see in yours?

Introduction:

Most of us have probably read books or heard teachings about the importance of believers having a personal time alone with God. We know we need that to feed our souls and find the encouragement and strength we need to live as followers of Jesus in a hostile world. If our personal relationship with God through Jesus is valuable to us, we will make time for it so we will flourish and grow in our love and service for Him.

But did you know that the relationship that you and your spouse to- gether have with God can also offer rich rewards? From this time for- ward, you and your spouse will live together and share daily life to- gether. What a unique opportunity you have to build each other up! Let's look together at some verses that will help you see how you might do this.

Read Colossians 3:16-17 and Ephesians 5:18-21. (These are two similar passages in Paul's letters.)

Colossians 3: 16 Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17 And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Ephesians 5: 18 And do not get drunk with wine, for that is debauchery, but be filled with the Spirit, 19 addressing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody to the Lord with your heart, 20 giving thanks always and for everything to God the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ, 21 submitting to one another out of reverence for Christ.

1.  Discuss all of the different ways that Paul exhorts believers to encourage one another in their spiritual life. Make a list of these in your journal. Your list should include at least 5 or 6 different items.

How can you put these verses into practice in your home, first as a couple, and later including the children that God gives? Take a few minutes to discuss this together.

Moses' Exhortation to Israel

In the book of Deuteronomy, Moses gives serious instructions to the nation of Israel as they are about to take possession of the land that God has promised them. Moses knew that it would be very easy for the people to wander away from following the God who had delivered them from slavery. It is no different for us today. We, also, are very easily drawn away from our Savior who has delivered us from the slavery of sin. How can you as a couple help each other and the children who will come, to stay on the right path and avoid the deceptions of the enemy? And how can you help each other grow together to maturity in Christ? Let's look at Moses' words.

2.  Read Deuteronomy 6:5-9.

Read verse 5 again. Describe the love that they are to have for God. (Jesus quotes this verse in Matthew, Mark, and Luke as the most important commandment.)

3.  What are they to do with these instructions that Moses is giving them? (verse 6-8)

4.  Look at verse 7 again. Name all of the various times they are to speak about God's words.

According to these verses, what is the parent's responsibility in passing truth on to the next generation?

5.  Do you think Moses' instructions to Israel in these verses are still valid for us today? Take a few minutes to discuss how you could apply these verses in your family, both before and after you have children.

If you continually keep God's Word central in your family as suggested in these verses, how will that help your family to love God with all their hearts?

A Note about verse 8

Some Jews took this verse literally and made little boxes that they put written scripture verses in and tied on their hands or foreheads. This could be helpful if a person used it as a means to help them memorize and remember God's Word. But there is nothing magical about carrying Bible verses on your body! The important point here is verse 6—that the Word of God be on our hearts, and that it always be with us as an integral part of our daily lives.

6.  How are Moses' instructions similar to Paul's instructions that we read in Colossians and Ephesians?

As believing families, in a sense you are a small body of Christ within the larger fellowship that you meet together with.

7.  Read Hebrews 10:23-25.

23Let us hold fast the confession of our hope without wavering, for he who promised is faithful. 24 And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works,25 not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.

Read the verses from Hebrews 10 again, thinking about how they might apply within your family. With all couples, there are times when one person becomes discouraged or is weak in faith. According to these verses, how can we help each other in those times?

8.  Read verse 24 again. God's Word speaks much about caring for the poor, showing hospitality, and helping those with various needs. Keeping your family's focus outward on the needs of others will help you and your children not to grow selfish. This is an important part of seeking first God's kingdom. Take a few minutes to discuss some "good works" (v. 24) that you as a family might be involved in.

Let's look now at how couples can grow in praying together.

9.  Read the verses below.

Again I say to you, if two of you agree on earth about anything they ask, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. For where two or three are gathered in my name, there am I among them." (Matthew 18:19-20)

Therefore, confess your sins to one another and pray for one another, that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person has great power as it is working. (James 5:16)

How do these verses encourage you as husband and wife to take time often to pray together? What do they say will be the result of your prayers?

10.  Read Philippians 4:6-7.

Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and sup- plication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

If you apply these verses along with the verses above from Matt. 18 and James 5 (agreeing together in prayer and praying for one another), how will this help to create an atmosphere of security and peace in your home?

Prayer: Below are some suggestions of ways that you as a couple, and later with children, can keep the Word of God and the life of the Spirit continually before you. Read through the list now. Later you will take some time as a couple to talk specifically about this. Pray now and ask God to help you learn to build each other up and keep the Word of God central in your home.

Note: This is not a list of rules for Christian Families. These are only some ideas to help you start to think about how you can help each member of the family grow spiritually. Be flexible. In whatever you do, if it becomes just a legalistic routine, it will become wearisome. In order to give life, it must flow out of the life of Christ within you—out of a desire to know God and walk with Him each day.

Whoever believes in me, as the Scripture has said, Out of his heart will flow rivers of living water.' Now this he said about the Spirit, whom those who believed in him were to receive. (John 7:38-39)

Suggestions for applying the scriptures studied in this session:

1)  Playing spiritual music in the home and car, etc.

2)  Memorizing scriptures, posting them around the home

3)  Setting aside a time for regular family worship and Bible reading or study

4)  Reading scripture and praying together in the morning before going off to work/school/etc.

5)  Stopping throughout the day for moments to thank God for specific answers to prayer

6)  Stopping throughout the day to pray about problems or needs as they arise.

7)  Taking a moment before meals to thank God for his provision.

8)  Singing songs of praise and worship together

9)  Reading inspiring books together

10)  Playing audio scriptures in your home

After this last session...

... set aside some time to discuss together how you as a couple can encourage each other to grow spiritually. You may want to look again at the list above. You can probably think of other ideas that you would like to add to this list.

- In your journal, write down those things that you want to make a part of your family's life.

Is there a prayer in your heart regarding how you want to grow spiritually as a couple?

- Write down your prayer in your journal. You may want to look back at this from time to time and maybe even add to your prayer.

- In the weeks and months that follow, write down in your journal things that you are learning about marriage. Also write down things you are praying for in your marriage. Keep your journal as a special record that you can look back at often.

A final word:

All couples who follow Jesus Christ should take courage to know that He fights for your family. He knows your weaknesses. He knows the war that Satan fights against you. He knows the pressures of life that you face each day. But He is greater than all these things and He wants you to trust Him in the easy times and in the very hard times. As you commit to making Him Lord of your family, He will help you to do your part in bringing His life and truth into every day. Below is a scripture for each of you who pray and work for your family to be a Christian presence in this world:

Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain. (1 Cor 15:58)

IF YOU WOULD LIKE TO TRANSLATE THIS BOOK...

You will note that these studies have been written in simple English. It is our hope that speakers of many different languages will find them easy to translate into their own language. It is not necessary to ask permission before translating them. However, if you do translate them, we would like to know about it. Please contact us through our website. It may be possible for us to include your translation on our website (www.learnhisways.com) in the future.

We also ask that you follow a few guidelines in translating. These will help to make things clearly understood and to keep the studies as close as possible to the Scriptures and to the original design of the writer of the study.

1.  About the use of pronouns he/she/him/her/they/them:

You will notice throughout these studies that many times the plural (they/them) is used, even though we are only talking about one person. For example: "Your spouse may tell you they love you, but you don't believe them." Obviously here, "they" and "them" is referring to one person, but it could be either the husband or the wife, so we don't know whether it is "he" or "she". Sometimes in English this is written this way: "Your spouse may tell you he/she loves you, but you don't believe him/her." But this is awkward! To avoid this awkwardness, the plural is sometimes used.

In translating, if your language uses only one pronoun in the third person for both male and female, please use the singular third person pronoun wherever it is talking about only one person, even if the plural is used in English. If your language uses different pronouns for male and female, please use what is most appropriate in your language where the pronoun could be referring to either husband or wife. Try to make it comfortable to read, but also as clear as possible.

2.  Use of the word "complement":

The word "complement" is used on the back cover and in the first box of Study #1. Please note that this is different from the word "compliment," which means to praise someone for something. The meaning of this word (as explained in the box) is to complete, or to fill in what is lacking in the other. Men and women were not created to be just alike, but to complement--that is, to complete, each other.

3.  Use of names:

Wherever names are used in these studies, please choose names that are common in your language, rather than using John or Mary.

4.  Word to use for Lord in Study #3:

The word you use for "Lord" in this study should probably be the same as that used in the scripture passage in that study found in Luke 6. It should convey the idea of "master," that is, someone who is to be obeyed without question, but it does not necessarily need to also carry the meaning of God.

5.  Use actual words from the Bible for direct quotes.

Anytime there is anything in quotes, if it is taken from the Bible, please go to the Bible in your own language and copy directly what is there. Do not translate from the English quote. Also, as you are translating a study, keep the Bible in your language open to the passage being studied, and try to use the same terms that are used in that passage as much as possible. For example, in study 7, question 5 talks about not giving the devil a "foothold." You should use the same word for "foothold" that is used in the scripture in Ephesians 4 in your language.

6.  Words to use for "Bible," "Christian," "God,"and "Christ."

In some countries (especially Muslim countries), using these words or some form of these words can cause unnecessary anger and offense. Some people still think about religious wars when they hear these words, and they associate them with their enemies. Therefore, in your translating please think carefully about the words that you use. For the word "Bible," use words from your language for "Holy Book, "The Word," God's Word," or "Old or New Testament." In many Muslim countries, "Injil" is a good word to use for "New Testament." For the word "God," you should choose the word that is most commonly used by believers in your country. Some Muslim countries use the word "Allah," other countries have other words that they prefer.

For "Christ," it's best to use the word in your language for "Messiah," or "Anointed One." This is the meaning of the word "Christ." For "Christian," use words from your language for "follower of Jesus the Messiah," "follower of Jesus," or "believer"-- or whatever words are most commonly used and accepted by believers in your country. If you are translating into a language with a Christian heritage, obviously you should use the words they are familiar with. In general, please try to choose words for these terms that are familiar, easily understood for their true meaning, and least likely to cause unnecessary offense.

7.  Use simple language.

We have tried to use simple sentences in the English to make these Bible studies easy to understand for anyone, including those who have no knowledge of the Bible and those who have limited education. We want them to be a help to ALL people—not just those who already know a lot. Please keep this in mind in translating. Some languages commonly use very complex and formal language in writing. We would ask that these studies be translated into language that sounds just the way people talk in normal, everyday life. They have been written for group discussion, therefore, it is important that everyone understand the questions and comments. Our goal is to help people understand the Bible, not to make them confused.

8.  Have someone check the translation.

To make these studies as accurate as possible in your native language, have a native speaker who is also fluent in English do the first translation from the English. Then, have a native English speaker who is also fluent in your language check the translation. In the final step, the original translator and the English checker should discuss any questions in the translation and come to an agreement on the best wording.

Remember... As you go through the translation process, if there is anything in the studies that is unclear, feel free to contact us through our website. (www.learnhisways.com) God bless you as you translate. We trust the Lord will use these studies to strengthen the Body of Christ in many different language groups around the world.

Appendix A

Marriage Vows

The box entitled "The Marriage Celebration," in the first study talks about vows made between the groom and the bride. Giving vows to each other in front of friends and family is an old tradition that developed hundreds of years ago. These vows are based on the teaching of scripture that a husband and wife are to be faithful to each other and serve each other for life. The following is a common way that vows are said in Christian marriage ceremonies in some parts of the world. Usually the bride and the groom take turns repeating these promises to each other, with the groom speaking to the bride first, and then the bride saying the same thing to the groom.

I [name] take you [name] to be my [husband/wife].
I promise today, before God and our family and friends,
to be faithful to you in sickness and in health,
whether we are rich or whether we are poor;
in joy and in sorrow, in good times and in bad.
With God's help, I promise to love you unconditionally,
to honor and respect you, and to hold you close to my heart
for as long as we both shall live.

Verses

Genesis 1

1 1In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth. 2Now the earth was formless and empty, darkness was over the surface of the deep, and the Spirit of God was hovering over the waters.
3And God said, "Let there be light," and there was light. 4God saw that the light was good, and he separated the light from the darkness. 5God called the light "day," and the darkness he called "night." And there was evening, and there was morning—the first day.
6And God said, "Let there be a vault between the waters to separate water from water." 7So God made the vault and separated the water under the vault from the water above it. And it was so. 8God called the vault "sky." And there was evening, and there was morning—the second day.
9And God said, "Let the water under the sky be gathered to one place, and let dry ground appear." And it was so. 10God called the dry ground "land," and the gathered waters he called "seas." And God saw that it was good.
11Then God said, "Let the land produce vegetation: seed-bearing plants and trees on the land that bear fruit with seed in it, according to their various kinds." And it was so. 12The land produced vegetation: plants bearing seed according to their kinds and trees bearing fruit with seed in it according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good. 13And there was evening, and there was morning—the third day.
14And God said, "Let there be lights in the vault of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark sacred times, and days and years, 15and let them be lights in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth." And it was so. 16God made two great lights—the greater light to govern the day and the lesser light to govern the night. He also made the stars. 17God set them in the vault of the sky to give light on the earth, 18to govern the day and the night, and to separate light from darkness. And God saw that it was good. 19And there was evening, and there was morning—the fourth day.
20And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky." 21So God created the great creatures of the sea and every living thing with which the water teems and that moves about in it, according to their kinds, and every winged bird according to its kind. And God saw that it was good. 22God blessed them and said, "Be fruitful and increase in number and fill the water in the seas, and let the birds increase on the earth." 23And there was evening, and there was morning—the fifth day.
24And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so. 25God made the wild animals according to their kinds, the livestock according to their kinds, and all the creatures that move along the ground according to their kinds. And God saw that it was good.
26Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
29Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Genesis 1:26

26Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."

Genesis 1:26-31

26Then God said, "Let us make mankind in our image, in our likeness, so that they may rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky, over the livestock and all the wild animals, and over all the creatures that move along the ground."
27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."
29Then God said, "I give you every seed-bearing plant on the face of the whole earth and every tree that has fruit with seed in it. They will be yours for food. 30And to all the beasts of the earth and all the birds in the sky and all the creatures that move along the ground—everything that has the breath of life in it—I give every green plant for food." And it was so.
31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Genesis 1:27

27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:31

31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Genesis 2

2 1Thus the heavens and the earth were completed in all their vast array.
2By the seventh day God had finished the work he had been doing; so on the seventh day he rested from all his work. 3Then God blessed the seventh day and made it holy, because on it he rested from all the work of creating that he had done.
4This is the account of the heavens and the earth when they were created, when the Lord God made the earth and the heavens.
5Now no shrub had yet appeared on the earth and no plant had yet sprung up, for the Lord God had not sent rain on the earth and there was no one to work the ground, 6but streams came up from the earth and watered the whole surface of the ground. 7Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.
8Now the Lord God had planted a garden in the east, in Eden; and there he put the man he had formed. 9The Lord God made all kinds of trees grow out of the ground—trees that were pleasing to the eye and good for food. In the middle of the garden were the tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
10A river watering the garden flowed from Eden; from there it was separated into four headwaters. 11The name of the first is the Pishon; it winds through the entire land of Havilah, where there is gold. 12(The gold of that land is good; aromatic resin and onyx are also there.) 13The name of the second river is the Gihon; it winds through the entire land of Cush. 14The name of the third river is the Tigris; it runs along the east side of Ashur. And the fourth river is the Euphrates.
15The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die."
18The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."
24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:7

7Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Genesis 2:15-25

15The Lord God took the man and put him in the Garden of Eden to work it and take care of it. 16And the Lord God commanded the man, "You are free to eat from any tree in the garden; 17but you must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat from it you will certainly die."
18The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."
19Now the Lord God had formed out of the ground all the wild animals and all the birds in the sky. He brought them to the man to see what he would name them; and whatever the man called each living creature, that was its name. 20So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found. 21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.
23The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."
24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:7

7Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being.

Genesis 1:20

20And God said, "Let the water teem with living creatures, and let birds fly above the earth across the vault of the sky."

Genesis 1:24

24And God said, "Let the land produce living creatures according to their kinds: the livestock, the creatures that move along the ground, and the wild animals, each according to its kind." And it was so.

Genesis 2:18

18The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:21-22

21So the Lord God caused the man to fall into a deep sleep; and while he was sleeping, he took one of the man's ribs and then closed up the place with flesh. 22Then the Lord God made a woman from the rib he had taken out of the man, and he brought her to the man.

Genesis 2:18

18The Lord God said, "It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him."

Genesis 2:20

20So the man gave names to all the livestock, the birds in the sky and all the wild animals.
But for Adam no suitable helper was found.

Genesis 2:23

23The man said,
"This is now bone of my bones
and flesh of my flesh;
she shall be called 'woman,'
for she was taken out of man."

Genesis 2:24

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 1:28

28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Genesis 2:24

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 24:67

67Isaac brought her into the tent of his mother Sarah, and he married Rebekah. So she became his wife, and he loved her; and Isaac was comforted after his mother's death.

Philippians 2:1-4

1Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, 2then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and of one mind. 3Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, 4not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.

Ephesians 5:21-33

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.
22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless. 28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body. 31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:21

21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Ephesians 5:22

22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:23-24

23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:23

23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Ephesians 5:24

24Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Ephesians 5:25-27

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her 26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:26-27

26to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, 27and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.

Ephesians 5:28-30

28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:28

28In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.

Ephesians 5:25

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:29-30

29After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— 30for we are members of his body.

Ephesians 5:31-33

31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church. 33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

Ephesians 5:31

31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh."

Genesis 2:24

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Ephesians 5:32

32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Ephesians 5:33

33However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.

1 Peter 3:1-7

1Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, 2when they see the purity and reverence of your lives. 3Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. 4Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God's sight. 5For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, 6like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.
7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

Joshua 24

1Then Joshua assembled all the tribes of Israel at Shechem. He summoned the elders, leaders, judges and officials of Israel, and they presented themselves before God.
2Joshua said to all the people, "This is what the Lord, the God of Israel, says: 'Long ago your ancestors, including Terah the father of Abraham and Nahor, lived beyond the Euphrates River and worshiped other gods. 3But I took your father Abraham from the land beyond the Euphrates and led him throughout Canaan and gave him many descendants. I gave him Isaac, 4and to Isaac I gave Jacob and Esau. I assigned the hill country of Seir to Esau, but Jacob and his family went down to Egypt.
5"'Then I sent Moses and Aaron, and I afflicted the Egyptians by what I did there, and I brought you out. 6When I brought your people out of Egypt, you came to the sea, and the Egyptians pursued them with chariots and horsemen as far as the Red Sea. 7But they cried to the Lord for help, and he put darkness between you and the Egyptians; he brought the sea over them and covered them. You saw with your own eyes what I did to the Egyptians. Then you lived in the wilderness for a long time.
8"'I brought you to the land of the Amorites who lived east of the Jordan. They fought against you, but I gave them into your hands. I destroyed them from before you, and you took possession of their land. 9When Balak son of Zippor, the king of Moab, prepared to fight against Israel, he sent for Balaam son of Beor to put a curse on you. 10But I would not listen to Balaam, so he blessed you again and again, and I delivered you out of his hand.
11"'Then you crossed the Jordan and came to Jericho. The citizens of Jericho fought against you, as did also the Amorites, Perizzites, Canaanites, Hittites, Girgashites, Hivites and Jebusites, but I gave them into your hands. 12I sent the hornet ahead of you, which drove them out before you—also the two Amorite kings. You did not do it with your own sword and bow. 13So I gave you a land on which you did not toil and cities you did not build; and you live in them and eat from vineyards and olive groves that you did not plant.'
14"Now fear the Lord and serve him with all faithfulness. Throw away the gods your ancestors worshiped beyond the Euphrates River and in Egypt, and serve the Lord. 15But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."
16Then the people answered, "Far be it from us to forsake the Lord to serve other gods! 17It was the Lord our God himself who brought us and our parents up out of Egypt, from that land of slavery, and performed those great signs before our eyes. He protected us on our entire journey and among all the nations through which we traveled. 18And the Lord drove out before us all the nations, including the Amorites, who lived in the land. We too will serve the Lord, because he is our God."
19Joshua said to the people, "You are not able to serve the Lord. He is a holy God; he is a jealous God. He will not forgive your rebellion and your sins. 20If you forsake the Lord and serve foreign gods, he will turn and bring disaster on you and make an end of you, after he has been good to you."
21But the people said to Joshua, "No! We will serve the Lord."
22Then Joshua said, "You are witnesses against yourselves that you have chosen to serve the Lord."
"Yes, we are witnesses," they replied.
23"Now then," said Joshua, "throw away the foreign gods that are among you and yield your hearts to the Lord, the God of Israel."
24And the people said to Joshua, "We will serve the Lord our God and obey him."
25On that day Joshua made a covenant for the people, and there at Shechem he reaffirmed for them decrees and laws. 26And Joshua recorded these things in the Book of the Law of God. Then he took a large stone and set it up there under the oak near the holy place of the Lord.
27"See!" he said to all the people. "This stone will be a witness against us. It has heard all the words the Lord has said to us. It will be a witness against you if you are untrue to your God."
28Then Joshua dismissed the people, each to their own inheritance.
29After these things, Joshua son of Nun, the servant of the Lord, died at the age of a hundred and ten. 30And they buried him in the land of his inheritance, at Timnath Serah in the hill country of Ephraim, north of Mount Gaash.
31Israel served the Lord throughout the lifetime of Joshua and of the elders who outlived him and who had experienced everything the Lord had done for Israel.
32And Joseph's bones, which the Israelites had brought up from Egypt, were buried at Shechem in the tract of land that Jacob bought for a hundred pieces of silver from the sons of Hamor, the father of Shechem. This became the inheritance of Joseph's descendants.
33And Eleazar son of Aaron died and was buried at Gibeah, which had been allotted to his son Phinehas in the hill country of Ephraim.

Joshua 24:15

15But if serving the Lord seems undesirable to you, then choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your ancestors served beyond the Euphrates, or the gods of the Amorites, in whose land you are living. But as for me and my household, we will serve the Lord."

Luke 6:46-49

46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. 48They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Luke 6:46

46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say?

Luke 6:47

47As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.

Luke 6:48

48They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built.

Luke 6:49

49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Luke 6:47

47As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.

Luke 6:46-47

46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like.

Romans 12:1-2

1Therefore, I urge you, brothers and sisters, in view of God's mercy, to offer your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and pleasing to God—this is your true and proper worship. 2Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God's will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.

Genesis 1:27-28

27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.
28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Genesis 1:27

27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 1:28

28God blessed them and said to them, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it. Rule over the fish in the sea and the birds in the sky and over every living creature that moves on the ground."

Genesis 2:24-25

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.
25Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 2:24

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Genesis 2:25

25Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame.

Genesis 1:31

31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

Genesis 4:1

1Adam made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain. She said, "With the help of the Lord I have brought forth a man."

Genesis 1:31

31God saw all that he had made, and it was very good. And there was evening, and there was morning—the sixth day.

1 Corinthians 7:1-5

1Now for the matters you wrote about: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman." 2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife. 5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

1 Corinthians 7:1

1Now for the matters you wrote about: "It is good for a man not to have sexual relations with a woman."

1 Corinthians 7:2-4

2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:3-4

3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:3

3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband.

1 Corinthians 7:4

4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:2-4

2But since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband. 3The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. 4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Corinthians 7:4

4The wife does not have authority over her own body but yields it to her husband. In the same way, the husband does not have authority over his own body but yields it to his wife.

1 Peter 3:7

7Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.

1 Corinthians 7:5

5Do not deprive each other except perhaps by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control.

Song of Songs

1 1Solomon's Song of Songs.

She
2Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth—
for your love is more delightful than wine.
3Pleasing is the fragrance of your perfumes;
your name is like perfume poured out.
No wonder the young women love you!
4Take me away with you—let us hurry!
Let the king bring me into his chambers.

Friends
We rejoice and delight in you;
we will praise your love more than wine.

She
How right they are to adore you!
5Dark am I, yet lovely,
daughters of Jerusalem,
dark like the tents of Kedar,
like the tent curtains of Solomon.
6Do not stare at me because I am dark,
because I am darkened by the sun.
My mother's sons were angry with me
and made me take care of the vineyards;
my own vineyard I had to neglect.
7Tell me, you whom I love,
where you graze your flock
and where you rest your sheep at midday.
Why should I be like a veiled woman
beside the flocks of your friends?

Friends
8If you do not know, most beautiful of women,
follow the tracks of the sheep
and graze your young goats
by the tents of the shepherds.

He
9I liken you, my darling, to a mare
among Pharaoh's chariot horses.
10Your cheeks are beautiful with earrings,
your neck with strings of jewels.
11We will make you earrings of gold,
studded with silver.

She
12While the king was at his table,
my perfume spread its fragrance.
13My beloved is to me a sachet of myrrh
resting between my breasts.
14My beloved is to me a cluster of henna blossoms
from the vineyards of En Gedi.

He
15How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes are doves.

She
16How handsome you are, my beloved!
Oh, how charming!
And our bed is verdant.

He
17The beams of our house are cedars;
our rafters are firs.

She
2 1I am a rose of Sharon,
a lily of the valleys.

He
2Like a lily among thorns
is my darling among the young women.

She
3Like an apple tree among the trees of the forest
is my beloved among the young men.
I delight to sit in his shade,
and his fruit is sweet to my taste.
4Let him lead me to the banquet hall,
and let his banner over me be love.
5Strengthen me with raisins,
refresh me with apples,
for I am faint with love.
6His left arm is under my head,
and his right arm embraces me.
7Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
8Listen! My beloved!
Look! Here he comes,
leaping across the mountains,
bounding over the hills.
9My beloved is like a gazelle or a young stag.
Look! There he stands behind our wall,
gazing through the windows,
peering through the lattice.
10My beloved spoke and said to me,
"Arise, my darling,
my beautiful one, come with me.
11See! The winter is past;
the rains are over and gone.
12Flowers appear on the earth;
the season of singing has come,
the cooing of doves
is heard in our land.
13The fig tree forms its early fruit;
the blossoming vines spread their fragrance.
Arise, come, my darling;
my beautiful one, come with me."

He
14My dove in the clefts of the rock,
in the hiding places on the mountainside,
show me your face,
let me hear your voice;
for your voice is sweet,
and your face is lovely.
15Catch for us the foxes,
the little foxes
that ruin the vineyards,
our vineyards that are in bloom.

She
16My beloved is mine and I am his;
he browses among the lilies.
17Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
turn, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the rugged hills.

3 1All night long on my bed
I looked for the one my heart loves;
I looked for him but did not find him.
2I will get up now and go about the city,
through its streets and squares;
I will search for the one my heart loves.
So I looked for him but did not find him.
3The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
"Have you seen the one my heart loves?"
4Scarcely had I passed them
when I found the one my heart loves.
I held him and would not let him go
till I had brought him to my mother's house,
to the room of the one who conceived me.
5Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you
by the gazelles and by the does of the field:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.
6Who is this coming up from the wilderness
like a column of smoke,
perfumed with myrrh and incense
made from all the spices of the merchant?
7Look! It is Solomon's carriage,
escorted by sixty warriors,
the noblest of Israel,
8all of them wearing the sword,
all experienced in battle,
each with his sword at his side,
prepared for the terrors of the night.
9King Solomon made for himself the carriage;
he made it of wood from Lebanon.
10Its posts he made of silver,
its base of gold.
Its seat was upholstered with purple,
its interior inlaid with love.
Daughters of Jerusalem, 11come out,
and look, you daughters of Zion.
Look on King Solomon wearing a crown,
the crown with which his mother crowned him
on the day of his wedding,
the day his heart rejoiced.

He
4 1How beautiful you are, my darling!
Oh, how beautiful!
Your eyes behind your veil are doves.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from the hills of Gilead.
2Your teeth are like a flock of sheep just shorn,
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin;
not one of them is alone.
3Your lips are like a scarlet ribbon;
your mouth is lovely.
Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
4Your neck is like the tower of David,
built with courses of stone;
on it hang a thousand shields,
all of them shields of warriors.
5Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle
that browse among the lilies.
6Until the day breaks
and the shadows flee,
I will go to the mountain of myrrh
and to the hill of incense.
7You are altogether beautiful, my darling;
there is no flaw in you.
8Come with me from Lebanon, my bride,
come with me from Lebanon.
Descend from the crest of Amana,
from the top of Senir, the summit of Hermon,
from the lions' dens
and the mountain haunts of leopards.
9You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride;
you have stolen my heart
with one glance of your eyes,
with one jewel of your necklace.
10How delightful is your love, my sister, my bride!
How much more pleasing is your love than wine,
and the fragrance of your perfume
more than any spice!
11Your lips drop sweetness as the honeycomb, my bride;
milk and honey are under your tongue.
The fragrance of your garments
is like the fragrance of Lebanon.
12You are a garden locked up, my sister, my bride;
you are a spring enclosed, a sealed fountain.
13Your plants are an orchard of pomegranates
with choice fruits,
with henna and nard,
14nard and saffron,
calamus and cinnamon,
with every kind of incense tree,
with myrrh and aloes
and all the finest spices.
15You are a garden fountain,
a well of flowing water
streaming down from Lebanon.

She
16Awake, north wind,
and come, south wind!
Blow on my garden,
that its fragrance may spread everywhere.
Let my beloved come into his garden
and taste its choice fruits.

He
5 1I have come into my garden, my sister, my bride;
I have gathered my myrrh with my spice.
I have eaten my honeycomb and my honey;
I have drunk my wine and my milk.

Friends
Eat, friends, and drink;
drink your fill of love.

She
2I slept but my heart was awake.
Listen! My beloved is knocking:
"Open to me, my sister, my darling,
my dove, my flawless one.
My head is drenched with dew,
my hair with the dampness of the night."
3I have taken off my robe—
must I put it on again?
I have washed my feet—
must I soil them again?
4My beloved thrust his hand through the latch-opening;
my heart began to pound for him.
5I arose to open for my beloved,
and my hands dripped with myrrh,
my fingers with flowing myrrh,
on the handles of the bolt.
6I opened for my beloved,
but my beloved had left; he was gone.
My heart sank at his departure.
I looked for him but did not find him.
I called him but he did not answer.
7The watchmen found me
as they made their rounds in the city.
They beat me, they bruised me;
they took away my cloak,
those watchmen of the walls!
8Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you—
if you find my beloved,
what will you tell him?
Tell him I am faint with love.

Friends
9How is your beloved better than others,
most beautiful of women?
How is your beloved better than others,
that you so charge us?

She
10My beloved is radiant and ruddy,
outstanding among ten thousand.
11His head is purest gold;
his hair is wavy
and black as a raven.
12His eyes are like doves
by the water streams,
washed in milk,
mounted like jewels.
13His cheeks are like beds of spice
yielding perfume.
His lips are like lilies
dripping with myrrh.
14His arms are rods of gold
set with topaz.
His body is like polished ivory
decorated with lapis lazuli.
15His legs are pillars of marble
set on bases of pure gold.
His appearance is like Lebanon,
choice as its cedars.
16His mouth is sweetness itself;
he is altogether lovely.
This is my beloved, this is my friend,
daughters of Jerusalem.

Friends
6 1Where has your beloved gone,
most beautiful of women?
Which way did your beloved turn,
that we may look for him with you?

She
2My beloved has gone down to his garden,
to the beds of spices,
to browse in the gardens
and to gather lilies.
3I am my beloved's and my beloved is mine;
he browses among the lilies.

He
4You are as beautiful as Tirzah, my darling,
as lovely as Jerusalem,
as majestic as troops with banners.
5Turn your eyes from me;
they overwhelm me.
Your hair is like a flock of goats
descending from Gilead.
6Your teeth are like a flock of sheep
coming up from the washing.
Each has its twin,
not one of them is missing.
7Your temples behind your veil
are like the halves of a pomegranate.
8Sixty queens there may be,
and eighty concubines,
and virgins beyond number;
9but my dove, my perfect one, is unique,
the only daughter of her mother,
the favorite of the one who bore her.
The young women saw her and called her blessed;
the queens and concubines praised her.

Friends
10Who is this that appears like the dawn,
fair as the moon, bright as the sun,
majestic as the stars in procession?

He

11I went down to the grove of nut trees
to look at the new growth in the valley,
to see if the vines had budded
or the pomegranates were in bloom.
12Before I realized it,
my desire set me among the royal chariots of my people.

Friends
13Come back, come back, O Shulammite;
come back, come back, that we may gaze on you!

He
Why would you gaze on the Shulammite
as on the dance of Mahanaim?

7 1How beautiful your sandaled feet,
O prince's daughter!
Your graceful legs are like jewels,
the work of an artist's hands.
2Your navel is a rounded goblet
that never lacks blended wine.
Your waist is a mound of wheat
encircled by lilies.
3Your breasts are like two fawns,
like twin fawns of a gazelle.
4Your neck is like an ivory tower.
Your eyes are the pools of Heshbon
by the gate of Bath Rabbim.
Your nose is like the tower of Lebanon
looking toward Damascus.
5Your head crowns you like Mount Carmel.
Your hair is like royal tapestry;
the king is held captive by its tresses.
6How beautiful you are and how pleasing,
my love, with your delights!
7Your stature is like that of the palm,
and your breasts like clusters of fruit.
8I said, "I will climb the palm tree;
I will take hold of its fruit."
May your breasts be like clusters of grapes on the vine,
the fragrance of your breath like apples,
9and your mouth like the best wine.

She
May the wine go straight to my beloved,
flowing gently over lips and teeth.
10I belong to my beloved,
and his desire is for me.
11Come, my beloved, let us go to the countryside,
let us spend the night in the villages.
12Let us go early to the vineyards
to see if the vines have budded,
if their blossoms have opened,
and if the pomegranates are in bloom—
there I will give you my love.
13The mandrakes send out their fragrance,
and at our door is every delicacy,
both new and old,
that I have stored up for you, my beloved.

8 1If only you were to me like a brother,
who was nursed at my mother's breasts!
Then, if I found you outside,
I would kiss you,
and no one would despise me.
2I would lead you
and bring you to my mother's house—
she who has taught me.
I would give you spiced wine to drink,
the nectar of my pomegranates.
3His left arm is under my head
and his right arm embraces me.
4Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you:
Do not arouse or awaken love
until it so desires.

Friends
5Who is this coming up from the wilderness
leaning on her beloved?

She
Under the apple tree I roused you;
there your mother conceived you,
there she who was in labor gave you birth.
6Place me like a seal over your heart,
like a seal on your arm;
for love is as strong as death,
its jealousy unyielding as the grave.
It burns like blazing fire,
like a mighty flame.
7Many waters cannot quench love;
rivers cannot sweep it away.
If one were to give
all the wealth of one's house for love,
it would be utterly scorned.

Friends
8We have a little sister,
and her breasts are not yet grown.
What shall we do for our sister
on the day she is spoken for?
9If she is a wall,
we will build towers of silver on her.
If she is a door,
we will enclose her with panels of cedar.

She
10I am a wall,
and my breasts are like towers.
Thus I have become in his eyes
like one bringing contentment.
11Solomon had a vineyard in Baal Hamon;
he let out his vineyard to tenants.
Each was to bring for its fruit
a thousand shekels of silver.
12But my own vineyard is mine to give;
the thousand shekels are for you, Solomon,
and two hundred are for those who tend its fruit.

He
13You who dwell in the gardens
with friends in attendance,
let me hear your voice!

She
14Come away, my beloved,
and be like a gazelle
or like a young stag
on the spice-laden mountains.

Matthew 19:1-12

1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."

Matthew 19:3

3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"

Genesis 1:27

27So God created mankind in his own image,
in the image of God he created them;
male and female he created them.

Genesis 2:24

24That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.

Matthew 19:4-6

4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Matthew 19:6

6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Ephesians 5:31-32

31"For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh." 32This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.

Matthew 19:6

6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Matthew 19:7

7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"

Matthew 19:8

8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

Matthew 19:4-6

4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."

Matthew 19:8

8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning.

Matthew 19:9

9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."

Proverbs 5

1My son, pay attention to my wisdom,
turn your ear to my words of insight,
2that you may maintain discretion
and your lips may preserve knowledge.
3For the lips of the adulterous woman drip honey,
and her speech is smoother than oil;
4but in the end she is bitter as gall,
sharp as a double-edged sword.
5Her feet go down to death;
her steps lead straight to the grave.
6She gives no thought to the way of life;
her paths wander aimlessly, but she does not know it.
7Now then, my sons, listen to me;
do not turn aside from what I say.
8Keep to a path far from her,
do not go near the door of her house,
9lest you lose your honor to others
and your dignity to one who is cruel,
10lest strangers feast on your wealth
and your toil enrich the house of another.
11At the end of your life you will groan,
when your flesh and body are spent.
12You will say, "How I hated discipline!
How my heart spurned correction!
13I would not obey my teachers
or turn my ear to my instructors.
14And I was soon in serious trouble
in the assembly of God's people."
15Drink water from your own cistern,
running water from your own well.
16Should your springs overflow in the streets,
your streams of water in the public squares?
17Let them be yours alone,
never to be shared with strangers.
18May your fountain be blessed,
and may you rejoice in the wife of your youth.
19A loving doe, a graceful deer—
may her breasts satisfy you always,
may you ever be intoxicated with her love.
20Why, my son, be intoxicated with another man's wife?
Why embrace the bosom of a wayward woman?
21For your ways are in full view of the Lord,
and he examines all your paths.
22The evil deeds of the wicked ensnare them;
the cords of their sins hold them fast.
23For lack of discipline they will die,
led astray by their own great folly.

Matthew 19

1When Jesus had finished saying these things, he left Galilee and went into the region of Judea to the other side of the Jordan. 2Large crowds followed him, and he healed them there.
3Some Pharisees came to him to test him. They asked, "Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife for any and every reason?"
4"Haven't you read," he replied, "that at the beginning the Creator 'made them male and female,' 5and said, 'For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh'? 6So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate."
7"Why then," they asked, "did Moses command that a man give his wife a certificate of divorce and send her away?"
8Jesus replied, "Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. 9I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery."
10The disciples said to him, "If this is the situation between a husband and wife, it is better not to marry."
11Jesus replied, "Not everyone can accept this word, but only those to whom it has been given. 12For there are eunuchs who were born that way, and there are eunuchs who have been made eunuchs by others—and there are those who choose to live like eunuchs for the sake of the kingdom of heaven. The one who can accept this should accept it."
13Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
14Jesus said, "Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these." 15When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
16Just then a man came up to Jesus and asked, "Teacher, what good thing must I do to get eternal life?"
17"Why do you ask me about what is good?" Jesus replied. "There is only One who is good. If you want to enter life, keep the commandments."
18"Which ones?" he inquired.
Jesus replied, "'You shall not murder, you shall not commit adultery, you shall not steal, you shall not give false testimony, 19honor your father and mother,' and 'love your neighbor as yourself.'"
20"All these I have kept," the young man said. "What do I still lack?"
21Jesus answered, "If you want to be perfect, go, sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven. Then come, follow me."
22When the young man heard this, he went away sad, because he had great wealth.
23Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Truly I tell you, it is hard for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of heaven. 24Again I tell you, it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for someone who is rich to enter the kingdom of God."
25When the disciples heard this, they were greatly astonished and asked, "Who then can be saved?"
26Jesus looked at them and said, "With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible."
27Peter answered him, "We have left everything to follow you! What then will there be for us?"
28Jesus said to them, "Truly I tell you, at the renewal of all things, when the Son of Man sits on his glorious throne, you who have followed me will also sit on twelve thrones, judging the twelve tribes of Israel. 29And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother or wife or children or fields for my sake will receive a hundred times as much and will inherit eternal life. 30But many who are first will be last, and many who are last will be first.

Matthew 18:21-35

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Matthew 18:21-22

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.

Matthew 18:24

24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him.

Matthew 18:26

26"At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.'

Matthew 18:27

27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.

Matthew 18:28-30

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt.

Matthew 18:28

28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.

Matthew 18:32-34

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.

Matthew 18:35

35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

Matthew 6:14-15

14For if you forgive other people when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. 15But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.

Matthew 18:33

33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'

Romans 12:20

20On the contrary:
"If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head."

Matthew 18

1At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, "Who, then, is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?"
2He called a little child to him, and placed the child among them. 3And he said: "Truly I tell you, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. 4Therefore, whoever takes the lowly position of this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. 5And whoever welcomes one such child in my name welcomes me.
6"If anyone causes one of these little ones—those who believe in me—to stumble, it would be better for them to have a large millstone hung around their neck and to be drowned in the depths of the sea. 7Woe to the world because of the things that cause people to stumble! Such things must come, but woe to the person through whom they come! 8If your hand or your foot causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life maimed or crippled than to have two hands or two feet and be thrown into eternal fire. 9And if your eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to enter life with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into the fire of hell.
10"See that you do not despise one of these little ones. For I tell you that their angels in heaven always see the face of my Father in heaven. [11]
12"What do you think? If a man owns a hundred sheep, and one of them wanders away, will he not leave the ninety-nine on the hills and go to look for the one that wandered off? 13And if he finds it, truly I tell you, he is happier about that one sheep than about the ninety-nine that did not wander off. 14In the same way your Father in heaven is not willing that any of these little ones should perish.
15"If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. 16But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that 'every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.' 17If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector.
18"Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.
19"Again, truly I tell you that if two of you on earth agree about anything they ask for, it will be done for them by my Father in heaven. 20For where two or three gather in my name, there am I with them."
21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

1 Peter 3:9

9Do not repay evil with evil or insult with insult. On the contrary, repay evil with blessing, because to this you were called so that you may inherit a blessing.

Matthew 18:21-35

21Then Peter came to Jesus and asked, "Lord, how many times shall I forgive my brother or sister who sins against me? Up to seven times?"
22Jesus answered, "I tell you, not seven times, but seventy-seven times.
23"Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. 24As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand bags of gold was brought to him. 25Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt.
26"At this the servant fell on his knees before him. 'Be patient with me,' he begged, 'and I will pay back everything.' 27The servant's master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go.
28"But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred silver coins. He grabbed him and began to choke him. 'Pay back what you owe me!' he demanded.
29"His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, 'Be patient with me, and I will pay it back.'
30"But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. 31When the other servants saw what had happened, they were outraged and went and told their master everything that had happened.
32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?' 34In anger his master handed him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed.
35"This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother or sister from your heart."

1 John 1:5-7

5This is the message we have heard from him and declare to you: God is light; in him there is no darkness at all. 6If we claim to have fellowship with him and yet walk in the darkness, we lie and do not live out the truth. 7But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship with one another, and the blood of Jesus, his Son, purifies us from all sin.

Matthew 3:8

8Produce fruit in keeping with repentance.

Galatians 5:16-25

16So I say, walk by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the flesh. 17For the flesh desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the flesh. They are in conflict with each other, so that you are not to do whatever you want. 18But if you are led by the Spirit, you are not under the law.
19The acts of the flesh are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; 20idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions 21and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.
22But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law. 24Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. 25Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

Matthew 18:32-33

32"Then the master called the servant in. 'You wicked servant,' he said, 'I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. 33Shouldn't you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?'

Psalm 103:8-12

8The Lord is compassionate and gracious,
slow to anger, abounding in love.
9He will not always accuse,
nor will he harbor his anger forever;
10he does not treat us as our sins deserve
or repay us according to our iniquities.
11For as high as the heavens are above the earth,
so great is his love for those who fear him;
12as far as the east is from the west,
so far has he removed our transgressions from us.

Romans 15:7

7Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13:4

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud.

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Galatians 5:14

14For the entire law is fulfilled in keeping this one command: "Love your neighbor as yourself."

1 Corinthians 13:4-7

4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Proverbs 15:1

1A gentle answer turns away wrath,
but a harsh word stirs up anger.

1 Corinthians 13

1If I speak in the tongues of men or of angels, but do not have love, I am only a resounding gong or a clanging cymbal. 2If I have the gift of prophecy and can fathom all mysteries and all knowledge, and if I have a faith that can move mountains, but do not have love, I am nothing. 3If I give all I possess to the poor and give over my body to hardship that I may boast, but do not have love, I gain nothing.
4Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
8Love never fails. But where there are prophecies, they will cease; where there are tongues, they will be stilled; where there is knowledge, it will pass away. 9For we know in part and we prophesy in part, 10but when completeness comes, what is in part disappears. 11When I was a child, I talked like a child, I thought like a child, I reasoned like a child. When I became a man, I put the ways of childhood behind me. 12For now we see only a reflection as in a mirror; then we shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully, even as I am fully known.
13And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love.

Proverbs 15:4

4The soothing tongue is a tree of life,
but a perverse tongue crushes the spirit.

James 1:19-20

19My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry, 20because human anger does not produce the righteousness that God desires.

James 1:19

19My dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry,

1 Corinthians 13:7

7It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

Ephesians 5:22

22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:22

22Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.

Ephesians 5:25

25Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her

Ephesians 5:23

23For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.

Colossians 3:16-17

16Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. 17And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.

Ephesians 5:18-21

18Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit, 19speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord, 20always giving thanks to God the Father for everything, in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ.
21Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.

Deuteronomy 6:5-9

5Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength. 6These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. 9Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates.

Deuteronomy 6:5

5Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your strength.

Deuteronomy 6:6-8

6These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts. 7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up. 8Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Deuteronomy 6:7

7Impress them on your children. Talk about them when you sit at home and when you walk along the road, when you lie down and when you get up.

Deuteronomy 6:8

8Tie them as symbols on your hands and bind them on your foreheads.

Deuteronomy 6:6

6These commandments that I give you today are to be on your hearts.

Hebrews 10:24

24And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds,

Luke 6

1One Sabbath Jesus was going through the grainfields, and his disciples began to pick some heads of grain, rub them in their hands and eat the kernels. 2Some of the Pharisees asked, "Why are you doing what is unlawful on the Sabbath?"
3Jesus answered them, "Have you never read what David did when he and his companions were hungry? 4He entered the house of God, and taking the consecrated bread, he ate what is lawful only for priests to eat. And he also gave some to his companions." 5Then Jesus said to them, "The Son of Man is Lord of the Sabbath."
6On another Sabbath he went into the synagogue and was teaching, and a man was there whose right hand was shriveled. 7The Pharisees and the teachers of the law were looking for a reason to accuse Jesus, so they watched him closely to see if he would heal on the Sabbath. 8But Jesus knew what they were thinking and said to the man with the shriveled hand, "Get up and stand in front of everyone." So he got up and stood there.
9Then Jesus said to them, "I ask you, which is lawful on the Sabbath: to do good or to do evil, to save life or to destroy it?"
10He looked around at them all, and then said to the man, "Stretch out your hand." He did so, and his hand was completely restored. 11But the Pharisees and the teachers of the law were furious and began to discuss with one another what they might do to Jesus.
12One of those days Jesus went out to a mountainside to pray, and spent the night praying to God. 13When morning came, he called his disciples to him and chose twelve of them, whom he also designated apostles: 14Simon (whom he named Peter), his brother Andrew, James, John, Philip, Bartholomew, 15Matthew, Thomas, James son of Alphaeus, Simon who was called the Zealot, 16Judas son of James, and Judas Iscariot, who became a traitor.
17He went down with them and stood on a level place. A large crowd of his disciples was there and a great number of people from all over Judea, from Jerusalem, and from the coastal region around Tyre and Sidon, 18who had come to hear him and to be healed of their diseases. Those troubled by impure spirits were cured, 19and the people all tried to touch him, because power was coming from him and healing them all.
20Looking at his disciples, he said:
"Blessed are you who are poor,
for yours is the kingdom of God.
21Blessed are you who hunger now,
for you will be satisfied.
Blessed are you who weep now,
for you will laugh.
22Blessed are you when people hate you,
when they exclude you and insult you
and reject your name as evil,
because of the Son of Man.
23"Rejoice in that day and leap for joy, because great is your reward in heaven. For that is how their ancestors treated the prophets.
24"But woe to you who are rich,
for you have already received your comfort.
25Woe to you who are well fed now,
for you will go hungry.
Woe to you who laugh now,
for you will mourn and weep.
26Woe to you when everyone speaks well of you,
for that is how their ancestors treated the false prophets.
27"But to you who are listening I say: Love your enemies, do good to those who hate you, 28bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you. 29If someone slaps you on one cheek, turn to them the other also. If someone takes your coat, do not withhold your shirt from them. 30Give to everyone who asks you, and if anyone takes what belongs to you, do not demand it back. 31Do to others as you would have them do to you.
32"If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them. 33And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that. 34And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full. 35But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked. 36Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.
37"Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. 38Give, and it will be given to you. A good measure, pressed down, shaken together and running over, will be poured into your lap. For with the measure you use, it will be measured to you."
39He also told them this parable: "Can the blind lead the blind? Will they not both fall into a pit? 40The student is not above the teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like their teacher.
41"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? 42How can you say to your brother, 'Brother, let me take the speck out of your eye,' when you yourself fail to see the plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye.
43"No good tree bears bad fruit, nor does a bad tree bear good fruit. 44Each tree is recognized by its own fruit. People do not pick figs from thornbushes, or grapes from briers. 45A good man brings good things out of the good stored up in his heart, and an evil man brings evil things out of the evil stored up in his heart. For the mouth speaks what the heart is full of.
46"Why do you call me, 'Lord, Lord,' and do not do what I say? 47As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like. 48They are like a man building a house, who dug down deep and laid the foundation on rock. When a flood came, the torrent struck that house but could not shake it, because it was well built. 49But the one who hears my words and does not put them into practice is like a man who built a house on the ground without a foundation. The moment the torrent struck that house, it collapsed and its destruction was complete."

Ephesians 4

1As a prisoner for the Lord, then, I urge you to live a life worthy of the calling you have received. 2Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love. 3Make every effort to keep the unity of the Spirit through the bond of peace. 4There is one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were called; 5one Lord, one faith, one baptism; 6one God and Father of all, who is over all and through all and in all.
7But to each one of us grace has been given as Christ apportioned it. 8This is why it says:
"When he ascended on high,
he took many captives
and gave gifts to his people."
9(What does "he ascended" mean except that he also descended to the lower, earthly regions? 10He who descended is the very one who ascended higher than all the heavens, in order to fill the whole universe.) 11So Christ himself gave the apostles, the prophets, the evangelists, the pastors and teachers, 12to equip his people for works of service, so that the body of Christ may be built up 13until we all reach unity in the faith and in the knowledge of the Son of God and become mature, attaining to the whole measure of the fullness of Christ.
14Then we will no longer be infants, tossed back and forth by the waves, and blown here and there by every wind of teaching and by the cunning and craftiness of people in their deceitful scheming. 15Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. 16From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love, as each part does its work.
17So I tell you this, and insist on it in the Lord, that you must no longer live as the Gentiles do, in the futility of their thinking. 18They are darkened in their understanding and separated from the life of God because of the ignorance that is in them due to the hardening of their hearts. 19Having lost all sensitivity, they have given themselves over to sensuality so as to indulge in every kind of impurity, and they are full of greed.
20That, however, is not the way of life you learned 21when you heard about Christ and were taught in him in accordance with the truth that is in Jesus. 22You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; 23to be made new in the attitude of your minds; 24and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.
25Therefore each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your neighbor, for we are all members of one body. 26"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, 27and do not give the devil a foothold. 28Anyone who has been stealing must steal no longer, but must work, doing something useful with their own hands, that they may have something to share with those in need.
29Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen. 30And do not grieve the Holy Spirit of God, with whom you were sealed for the day of redemption. 31Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. 32Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.